it’s a very busy schedule for S daily even though she looks like she is not doing anything at all.

then again, ‘busy’ is an understatement. more to hectic.

in work, in personal life, in family and last but never the least — in cats.

are things beginning to prosper?
one can never tell — not even yours truly.

rumour has it S is in a relationship. but where art thou is the beau?

you really have to be careful of what you wish for. you want a husband, you will get it, along with other things that you do not want that comes with this package called ‘husband’. in a way, i find that my life has not changed 360 degrees, not even a full ten degrees to begin with. it’s not even a matter of too-early-to-say when things have been fast forwarded already, but it does remained to be materialized.

well… good luck, S.

just for the heck of lipsticks and such

it’s been awhile i’ve blogged something like this, i want to know how different is the feeling of the aftermath.

am i really officially colder?

oh yea, before we start, there are two things i’ve been hearing from people that i find it hard to believe. things i heard from people, about moi, none other yours truly here.

one — that i am getting prettier. okay, there are a few notable people i thanked too, albeit not to their face, because, well, it’s Suessy Suraya Suhaimi. there’s always a plausible reason she’s a frenemy to certain people — but she doesn’t bite the hands who fed her. rather, they found a new pet, or, treated her like a runner for their errands.


back to imgettingprettier. previously she have heard of people raving about her bestie whose beauty graph chart increased each moment. a person who just gets prettier and prettier. amazing. i could never live up to that.

but apparently, as we speak, people commented that i am. despite still being dentally challenged.

thank you.

second — get this: i lost weight. lost? seriously? especially after the fasting month. seriously? i still feel bloated, huge and wide. but they say i sooo am.

if that is true, then, OhMG, i must’ve been way bigger and huge-r than now.

nevertheless, thank you.

now back to business.

+ in the voice of a la Gossip Girl +

it takes more than simply being nineteen days ahead to invite a waldorf to your party, especially after what you did to a waldorf. don’t take it for granted that you were once close to her, and then she walked away. for plausible reasons. not that you have done anything to proved otherwise anyway.

despite being alone and trapped in her own depression state of mind and losing a handful of bridesmaids, S is very well booked off throughout the year. to the point she hated for what she was booked for.

a whirlwind of romances and flings and assholisms as the new cult one should always avoid, S is currently seen frolicking around between music notes and leaves of books with a tall, artsy-fartsy companion.

it is unknown though widely speculated but S does not settled with anyone. she is just having a good year. so far.

therefore —

From the Office of Waldorf’s Household and Resident

Dear Ms J.,

Thank you for your kind invitation to Ms Waldorf for your betrothal on November xx, 2010. We have graciously accepted your personal tele-invitation as informed. Ms Waldorf would like to apologize for not recognizing your number on her new Nokia since her last Sony Ericsson went kaput. Nevertheless, Ms Waldorf is very enthusiastic to be the first one invited via personal cellphone call. In addition, please accept our congratulations from the whole household.

However, we regret to inform that Ms Waldorf will not be able to attend your engagement due to prior arrangementsss, or rather, family duties — with benefits of extended holiday to an isle for a beach trip. Ms Waldorf will be leaving the city for Eid-ul Haj precisely on November 16th, 2010 and will be back on November 23rd, 2010. Ms Waldorf will then be attending her cousin’s wedding which is the same date of your engagement, and which has also been previously blocked since May 20th, 2010.

We would like to highlight that Ms Waldorf will also be enjoying quality reading time while away, hence only emergency calls will be accepted. Ms Waldorf can still be reached via her virtual social networks.
Please request for ID/e-mail address if you do not have hers or have been removed from her list.

Ms Waldorf would like to extend her hearty congratulations to you and your partner on the engagement and wishing both luck through this new chapter and the next. She also wished to include her personal words, “may you both live happily here and hereafter”.

Thank you and we hope that you will have a wonderful occasion on your special day.

***Kindly contact Ms Gatsubi at least six months prior to request for Ms Waldorf blocking her schedule to attend your occasion/event. We will be more than glad to re-arrange for you in case the said date may just as well has already been blocked.

Best regards,

Ms Luesi Penguini Victoria
assistant to Ms Moeli Nanae Gatsubi
assistant to Ms Blair Suessylia Waldorf

c.c. miss moeli nanae gatsubis bb

for the heck of it, okay, read that? chill, aku takkan menyemakkan letter box kau atau bersusah payah handwrite this. aku send text terus —

sorry, can’t make it for your engagement. will be in penang til tuesday. thanks for the invite, have a wonderful day!

hm. best jugak getting back to blogging with the required capital letters. nampak cantik.

so, the word of the day is — cantik.

there. habis lunch time aku blogging. it’s been fun revisiting.

i think it’s the maternal instinct sh*t

aki’s home.

so’s yoomi — of course. i always forget her. who wouldn’t forget one when each trip to the vet she’ll pooped inside that black vinyl carrier.

aki is somewhat in a daze, running around the haus like she’s stepping in for the first time. doc said they were both somewhat miserable during the boarding.

when doc called, i felt like i couldn’t leave the haus any faster. i just couldn’t wait to pick up the girls. and i felt it was the like the longest drive to the vet. silap ah aku ambik jalan ni. patut ke aku ikut the other way round? regardless, sampai je. and i was just beyond thrill to be able to pick them up before the day ends.

this time, i don’t think i am ever letting aki out of the haus. i can’t risk losing her like i lost orked and gueci. aki has a pair of white-stockinged legs like a ballerina and she has a half-mask-like pattern drawn on her face, lending her a fox-kind feature. so absolutely no, no one can be borrowed her from HIM except me. HE Has let me have aki for as long as i take good care of her, thank you.

now my lips are pursed into a silly smile


tak sangka hari ketiga berpuasa masih headache-y. dan ketiga-tiga hari puasa ini perasaan bercampur-baur antara terlampau gembira dan terlampau meroyan. salah cakap kena, melampau salah cakap berdas-das kena sampai putus talian. malas nak sambung.
dalam hari kedua, dah tempted. tapi mungkin sebab terlampau letih dan masa terlampau pendek, dan sebab minum air berais — terus knocked out.

rindu dengan the bastard. haizzz, tak tau lah kalau sekarang sedang berevolusi menjadi asshole. atau sememangnya sedang sibuk dengan budgetting.
terngiang-ngiang bunyi ketawa dia atau masa dia menyanyi lagu-lagu yang masa tu aku rasa nak tutup telinga tak sanggup dengar. teringat bila dia salah dengar aku sebut “asoh” yang pada dia bunyi macam “arse-hole”. how was it again that first date we had? shweet. okay, now my lips are pursed into a silly smile.

sekarang dalam rumah ade dua little furballs. dari lima tinggal dua. the mommy gueci pun dah dua minggu hilang. maka dari 12 ekor kucing saya tinggal tujuh.
kalau pergi lucerne rasanya bawak aki je kot. moeli dah tua. ha ha. sekarang pun dah asyik nak merajuk sebab tak dapat masuk rumah. monti pun menunjukkan his anima side lately — saya terpegun, sebab ingatkan dia ni sengal je.

serius takde mood nak keje. system lag. connection tak stable. e-mel beratur nak menjawab. printer tak payah cakap lea, she’s my new enemy. sikit-sikit jammed in rear bin. rearrr. ha ha.

nak sandwich. nak hotdog. nak that red velvet cupcake kat delicious. terutamanya sandwich lah — layers of grilled briskets, romaine lettuce, tomato slices and mayonnaise. tak kisah roti ape asalkan toasted.

read, and tell the world about it

Hey Suraya, how are you? I’ve seen u have gotten quite friendly with — since, on FB and Twitter. I would like to let you know that I’m uneasy about that You know, i like him and I wish you couldn’t interfere My chances are not high at all but yet I’m very sincere and it took me months to develop a good repotoire with him, personally and professionally. I’m threatened, that obvious. but i hope u understand how much i dislike most of your gestures in getting close to him, you don’t even know him. I know you have my best intention at heart, but that’s not what girl friends do. Frankly, i don’t even like it when u add him up on FB in the 1st place. I’ve told many of my girls bout him n none doing things u do. I hope you’d understand. But if you choose to ignore my msg, go on, you have the right to whatever u feel like doing in the world. Have a good day. Thank you.

i don’t feel like saying samasama — i don’t feel like thanking. i didn’t have a good day. i cried all evening to someone a thousand miles away, as he, with no questions asked took my baggage away. i choose not to ignore your message. i do understand but this is fucking shitty. what’s the relation of me with your girls — i say it’s irrelevant. whatever they want to do, what’s your jurisdiction on what they want to do — are you their mommy? frankly, it never hits me how much you like this guy until i heard you freaked out. i do have your best intentions at heart, i naturally mentioned you when i introduced myself — that’s what girlfriends do. yes i don’t even know him, that’s why i want to get to know him. i don’t want to get close to him but you should put some reservations that fate has its own way to twist the turn of events. why would you be threatened when you seems to know him better than me — you had months ahead of me and both professional and personal repertoire built already and… and… you are sincere at that! — but now, that sincerity is questionable. sincerity and spite don’t exist on the same page what more in one SMS. you’re taking chances, you should know there’s risks of competition, frustrations, failures but why’d someone like you let those get in the way — not someone like you… that i know. consider me interfering — heh, who mentioned that he and i would make a great couple when i told you we’re as different as night and day — but were both great writers, aren’t we? i would like to know how uneasy are you feeling now — fucking fucked up already? who fucked who? it’s you who fucked yourself. get a grip. get a fucking grip. you’re not his girlfriend. you’re not his fucking official girlfriend. with everything that you know of him that i DONT’ EVEN KNOW HIM, you are way ahead of me. you’re fucking over-reacting. i will keep getting friendly with him, not to spite you but because i want to.

but guess what —
i have other things happening in my life right now. i’m over the moon altimet would even tweet with me. one of my girlfriends who i think the world of, commented i’m looking prettier, which made my day. i have someone who complained i always left too early for him to say a proper goodbye to me i can’t believe he’s missing me that much. my kitten is dying with all its internal organs shutting down but she’s standing, she’s walking, she’s mewing and she’s eating — even the doc don’t want to consider euthanising her — tell me how it breaks my heart and how painful that last visit to the vet on eve ramadhan while everyone else performs their tarawih — even the doc said she will always remember this date. this morning one of my girlfriends lost her job — the job that she poured her heart out, taking care of everyone’s interest but herself, she’s the driver, the navigator, the manager, the planner, the caretaker — but everyone else around her fucking took her for fucking granted — you tell me how breakable and heart-wrenching is that knowing your girlfriend is being treated this way by others.

on top of this all, i’m welcoming ramadhan in tears — the one thing i look forward to but wtf an SMS i received from my girlfriend this afternoon. and i’m typing each word — because this is how much you mean to me. and don’t fucking hey me in that tone. i told you that you’ve been up in the air for quite some time.

i realized, that i keep on browsing and surfing and go back to my work, checked my inbox, checked my facebook, back to surfing, back to inbox, facebook, work, trying to find articles i could read online; something wholesome so i go to; the only site i could think of… and trying to recall as many online blogs as i can, wanting to buy something new for a glorious occasion. it’s been a while.

the brain’s dead tired and keep yawning but the eyes keep awake like it has a life on its own and here i am, typing away. i think what i want to say out loud is too long and not really self-explanatory if i just tweet and too controversial to put on facebook. but here goes, aku rasa lately,

currently, selera aku is european men.

there. european, okay. memang aku boleh berhenti bersembang atau teruskan bersembang (jika perlu) while multitasking watching that caucasion man (or men) who is (orare“, apply accordingly) passing by. oui.

excited, yeah. tapi tak seteruk dulu masa dengan chap — terkinja-kinja. ntah ape akan jadi lepas ni pun tak heran sangat. the golden rule always apply — if the guys wants it, he will go for it. another new golden rule — it’s not what he says or what he does to you, it’s whatever he’s doing and not doing when you are around. you are around. the point is, he’s there within your vicinity. he wants you to know he’s there.

somehow pun, rasa sangat… tak endah. tak mampu dan tak larat nak melayan. menyusahkan, memberatkan, merimaskan — bai bai bai.

dah tak heran telefon yang tak berdering 168 jam straight. campak phone ke mana pun takde hal. lagi penting kad touch-n-go. buat seketika bila dia start cuti, i just… want… to be… in a bubble. takde sapa dapat reach over, penetrate, spoil my thoughts. mahu seronok-seronok saja. lukis-lukis pelangi. ulang-ulang-ulang. and then buat seketika, bila sesuatu itu berlaku, terasa anticipation bila dia pulang dari cuti nanti. mesti overexcited. kelakar — dah lama tak berperasaan begini. agak nice, eh.

shoot. i still haven’t check out the french on youtubes.

vous les gars sont tous des connards.


when in penang, suessy screws any existing diet

may 21st
we’re heading to penang for the weekend to attend the engagement of my cousin, azmie, on saturday. mum and i are pretty excited to arrive at the isle as early as possible so we planned to have breakfast at section 14 after dropping my brother at school. there’s a kedai lontong mak yah, where you may have to lined up for almost an hour and the lontong could finish as fast as the first three hours it opens — your rezeki really counts. i love to order the lontong sotong where i specifically ask for no sambal, extra kuah kacang and only the janggut part of the sotong. the guy is pretty generous with the janggut because mum said not everyone likes it. turns out, mum and i got up late after late night making the chocolate hazelnut cookies as one of the engagement offerings. we shared halves of mcdonald’s big n’ tasty. i had mine with a cup of oldtown white coffee.

we left the haus around ten a.m. and as i drove up to north, i had half a bottle of coke and a bag of potato chips, original flavour. these days i have low tolerant for other flavours, the basic one is always the best. we stopped at r&r tapah where mum just wants to hang out there because it’s a weekday and there’s no traffic at its parking lot. mum had keladi masak asam and some green veggies on top of white rice. i wasn’t hungry and i have no idea what to eat but just because we were sitting in front of a nasi ayam stall, i had one of those — roasted. it was too salty since they poured soy sauce on the plate before putting on the rice. i only ate half of it.

we arrived penang around one p.m. but because mum badly wanted to buy something for afiq, azmie’s two-year-old nephew, we stopped at a shopping mall first hence arriving at the actual location — azmies haus — at three p.m.. when we arrived, the smell of my aunt’s delicious curry lingers. then again, i’m not a fan of curry. we settled around the haus and we were served late-lunch-almost-hi-tea. we brought with us some raw ikan keli and roe of ikan sembilang for the haushold. immediately, my aunt put some of the roe into her curry as she reheats it. mum had the fish curry with rice. i had some of the roe because i’m a big fan but mostly i was indulging with my aunt’s sweet and sour garoupa. she puts in lots of onion slices which i really like and i feel it is as good as any veggies.

later we had this decadent dessert of cold bubur pulut hitam with evaporated milk. i don’t fancy bubur pulut hitam much but anything’s good with evaporated milk, eh? i had two bowls. and then, i helped myself to homemade shrimp currypuffs. my aunt made them — chicken, beef, shrimp — and sell them frozen. at the time, my aunt was making a batch of the beef currypuffs for an order. i topped some of the minced meat on top of my currypuffs. she’s making it in smaller size these days, i never bother to know why but i like them better.

we had a small birthday party for my aunt who turned sixty-two. azmie’s brother, alane came over with his wife, alina and their son, afiq, towed with present and a blackforest cake.

nescafé with sugar is served around the clock.

mum and my aunt went to alane’s haus for last minute preparation while azmie and i went to pick up my brother at the bus station — he came down after he took his history test at school. we stopped at a mamak restaurant, and the boys had rice, curry and fried chicken for my brother, tandoori chicken for azmie. i said i won’t take any dinner, but i was inkling for kue tiow goreng with fried chicken. it was not a good one, i only finished the chicken.

my cousins keep pointing out my biceps. they said i am fat now — its their very first comment after six months — but then they realized it’s only my biceps and that i am still slim. not much comfort, though, the weight scale at sime darby medical centre don’t lie.

may 22nd
alane’s haus is the pit stop for the whole entourage to gather before heading to the engagement. i got up and found my mum arranging the newly fried currypuffs in a box to bring it there. i asked one from her because it smells so good, still warm and its puff is crispy.

for breakfast, my aunt made briyani vermicelli with lots of cabbage and carrot slices. my brother and i don’t fancy it that much, we had some and our mum finished it off. we feasted on the nescafé and the homemade currypuffs.

we went to alane’s haus at 11 a.m. bringing the ironed baju kurungs and shirts, new heels, the frozen currypuffs my pregnant cousin who we are meeting there ordered, two pineapples to make jelatah and the currypuffs in a box. alane ordered somewhat curry-ish looking ayam masak merah, dalca, really red daging masak merah and nasi hujan panas for lunch. alane’s wife, alina, my aunt and mum made jelatah. i was the first to dived in.

we left for the engagement at three p.m.. the weather was really hot and the haus is linda’s granny, azmie’s fianceé-to-be, at one of those malay villages in jelutong. the streets are really narrow, the kind only one-car-at-a-time-don’t-think-about-another-car-coming-from-the-opposite-direction. it was an eleven-car-entourage and at first we wanted to all parked at the surau but then the walk to the haus will not only drenched our clothes but melted the chocolate spirals on my mother’s cookies in five seconds flat. when we finally arrived, we discovered that the haus’ yard is big enough for a decent parking space. the theme was pink down to all linda’s brothers wearing pale pink polo tees. after the introduction, the discussion, official announcement of the wedding date, my aunt putting on the ring on linda’s finger, hi-tea is served. there were pulut kuning, roti jala, kari daging, more currypuffs, kuih bengkang and kuih lompang. i was still full so i only had the kuih lompang which were nicely chilled, not sweet and striking in its shocking pink and sunshine yellow colour with white salted grated coconut on top. they served ice cold syrup drinks and coffee at just the right hotness temperature. it was a good black coffee indeed.

we returned to the alane’s haus after the engagement. i unsuccessfully helped my mum finished her nasi hujan panas, chicken and beef. i just realized that someone brought in sambal ikan kering when alina told me it was nice but i don’t feel like having them. afiq and i helped ourselves to mango jellies — they’re one of the engagement offerings from linda’s side. there was also a moist chocolate cake layered with toffee, i had a small slice. just like at my aunt’s haus, nescafé with sugar is served around the clock, along with tea, black coffee and nescafé with milk and sugar.

may 23rd
breakfast is one my aunt’s famous dishes — sunny side eggs with slices of onions and tomatoes cooked with ghee butter. but first, i had some fried rice with sambal sardin of which she fried the sardines first before cooking it with the gravy which most people said it is a lot nicer. then, i had the egg with the eminent roti benggali. mum said when she was a kid growing up with eleven siblings, they dislike it so much and gardenia bread is considered a luxury. these days my uncle and his son fight for it over soup, especially for the crust slices.

for lunch before we head home, my aunt made fish head curry, kobis masak lemak putih and reheated the leftover sambal ikan kering. i’m everything for the white gravy against the brilliant red so i finally tried the sambal with the cabbage. still, i didn’t eat much because i was still full with breakfast.

we left penang around 3.30 p.m. and arrived kelana jaya at 7.20 p.m.. we stopped at a café for dinner. both mum and my brother had the char kue tiow and i honestly don’t know what to order because i don’t know what i feel like eating since i’m neither full nor hungry. eventually i ordered clear chicken soup with rice but they got my order very late i cancelled it and ordered the char kue tiow to go. when i got home, the gravy is just nicely soaked into the rice noodles. i separated the shrimps from its skin and gave the meat bit by bit to my cat, moeli. i ate the warm noodles with relish and realized that its soy sauce is really, really, really delicious — it was a delicious char kue tiow indeed.

i made a mug of nescafé with sugar and milk and drank a bottle of mineral water. tomorrow, i feel like having pizza for lunch, and my mum and i again planned to go the lontong haus after dropping my brother at school.