i find it pure bliss when i

benda-benda yang lebih enak dimakan bersama media kesukaan anda —

meaty sandwich layered with mayo-laden crunchy veges / oatmeal + milk + frosties —
watching that70s show
reading baby blues

buttered toasts
reading any of  ‘the burrow’ parts in the harry potter collection

hot, soupy noodles
j-doramas
korean dramas

pommes frites
all of the above, or anywhere anytime. like it’s my most totally favourite food in the whole world. and must with ketchup.

coffee
all of the above.

now i understand why some people prefer not to sleep. aku pun tak suka nak tido because my mind is still working and they produced shitty dreams yang lagi meletihkan aku. eew. bosan. i will only sleep when i am truly exhausted. like after a late night trysting. kidding. late night snacking lagi orgasmic. haha.

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split personality

wedding – the celebrity

i was at affan’s wedding and i was in raptures talking to aneeza about the price of engagement rings the stars have on their very important finger while nanec and boyfie, sala, and izary just arrived and started to have their nasi minyak from the buffet.

“do you know how much is carrie underwood’s engagement ring costs? 850k! nicole richie’s was a quarter mil, khloe kardashian’s half a mil.”

i blame e! channel for disclosing vulgar information such as these.

“their ring is not a deposit for a new house, it’s a total of two very decent two-storey hauses!” i summed up the information smartly.

“what about you? what is your engagement ring criteria?” i can’t remember who asked but i was immediately delighted. hence my response —
“well, if it were me…” i started as if i’m being interviewed, poised and ready with an answer.

“oh my god, she’s like already prepared with an answer, truly… like she’s a celebrity being interviewed,” nanec guffawed.

spot on.

my answer was simple. “i would like the rock to be the size of manhattan.”

truly a new york girl at heart. i never blame plum sykes’ novelpenmanship for teaching me that.

+ + +

luncheon – the socialite

we were at the gardens celebrating bridget’s birthday. we had sushi. i confessed that i am the last malay girl who doesn’t know how to use chopsticks which i admit is pretty embarassing but a girl has got to be different from the rest, no?

so there i was semi-pathetically handling my chopsticks gingerly, the point is to not being sloppy which is just enough and could devoid the humiliation of icky looks and stares from the rest of the posh patrons including my work colleagues. i could never face them the next day.

“are you okay with the chopsticks? would you like fork and spoon for that okonomiyaki?”
“no, no, i’m good. i want to use the chopsticks,” i said confidently, showing my team spirit and that i’m the type to do anything once, twice, thrice, as long as it counts.
“do you actually like japanese food? is it okay that we’re having sushi?”
“of course!” my eyes sparkled with delight. “so much so that i would like to have a japanese boyfriend myself. then he can teach me how to use chopsticks!”

the table laughed. i never see that coming. “oh, you speak like a datin!” melissa commented.

my eyes went wide. i do?

oh my. i never meant to be rude or it’s my-world-everyone’s-just-living-on-it but i take that comment with amusement. perhaps i do have the makes of a datin. oh laaa…

afternoon delight

i’m never gonna answer to you of what’s obvious so shut up and laugh the ass off yourself.

anyways, i find these amusingly hilarious.

honestly, i need a good… long… hard… laugh these days. i’m only hanging out with them who constantly make me orgasmed like that.

homewrecker

i’m in ♥ with so many people at the same time

yeahhhmaybe im paula crowe =p but sarah chalke is really prettycantiknakmamps i actuallyreallyloveher.

ron weasley
— very much immersed in the wizarding world right now… i plugged my ears with kerispatih and read away with relish the harry potter series on the train. i enjoyed it so much that i don’t want to get off the train. and i realized, that’s the only time i have for myself these days, where no one can reach me.

jake gyllenhaal
— he never appeals to me. i didn’t even recognized him in the prince of persia preview. and then i found out it was him. i’m gemma arterton.

anthony bourdain
— i’m watching this episode (S06E007) where everybody he’s interviewing is obsessed about the food they’re obsessing about. tony looks kurus-er. handsome. stop talking to the pigs head, tony!

i think his name is rizal.

i have 700 thoughts running througharoundin my mind right now.

au revoir

ape ade kat blog aku?
aku tanya diri sendiri.

cerita-cerita terperinci tapi berterabur semua nak luah sampai tak cukup tanah.

cerita-cerita yang mengcharacter assasinate tagg — sempena hari raya aidilfitri pertama esok, meraikan kemenangan berpuasa (seperti kata wani ardy), dan juga ulangtahun kamu ke-30, selamat happy birthday, dear! i love you like kasih sayang, bukan cinta (seperti nyanyian hardy mirza). despite aku selalu maki hamun kau (pharhunt, dah lama aku tak maki hamun kaulike seven years ago was the last one bila kau gelakgelak je lepas aku buat pengakuan love like cinta, bukan kasih sayang), encik syahrul ‘tagg’ nizam, i am sorry and i know that you are one of the best of friends… when you are good.

cerita-cerita, konon-konon gossip girl nak rival dengan kak pora ku sayang yang sekarang bahagia sedang bergolek-golek di batu pahat.

cerita-cerita tentang kekasih-kekasih gelap
anthony bourdain dan takuya kimura

cerita-cerita nak bunuh diri yang habis takat luah keluar dari hati ke keyboard laptop
sebab aku tak memilih, lelaki-lelaki yang memilih. nak jugak tak sedar diri.
dan aku tak mahu berkawan apetah berboyfriend. aku nak bernikah segera.
my biological clock is at its pre-ticking like mad.

cerita-cerita tentang kucing
oh ya, luesi sekarang tidak lagi luesi marita antoinette.
luesi sekarang aku bagi nama baru, tapi masih keturunan diraja
luesi victoria _____ (nama ketiga belum ade lagi)
victoria sebab luesi sekarang semakin gemuk. bulu-bulu tumbuh kembali dengan sihat.
pagi semalam dia kejar kenya sampai kenya masuk bawah sofa. dan luesi sampai cuit-cuit bawah sofa nak cuba tarik kenya keluar.
cerita ini untuk jasmine.

cerita-cerita tentang hantar baju engineered by shanny, online shopping, duit.
tentang apa aku masak, rancangan teevee yang aku devotedly nonton dan download
sampai alter ego aku adalah blair cornelia waldorf.

keluarga dan kawan-kawan.
pembaca blog.
terima kasih.

selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin.
be safe wherever you are.

address this!

kiranya kan, kalau ada entry suessy suraya suhaimi dalam wikipedia — macam dulu aku beria nak buat entri tentang dfjj kat wikipedia (mungkin takkan dapat lesen langsung sekarang sebab aku telah membuli — an understatement, more like character assassination — bff presiden dfjj dalam blog ini sejak setahun yang lalu) — mungkin akan  tertulis:

it is most notable that suessy suraya is quite a blogger tegar (with no followers harus include ini, okay, aku tegar tapi takde followers…. whats the fucking benchmarks anyways but at least im addressing this!) as observed by one of her bff bloggers (suerie, responding to a note on suessy surayas FB), and would still be an avid blogger in the next ten years. aside the intellectually hilarious suessy suraya has tabbed as those who inspired her to continue blogging (namely mat jan, michael ooi, nizamnuri*), suessy suraya is also heavily influenced with the straightforward blogging style by amusing (in her most precise choice of words) bloggers such as gdsjht, rysa the sheandroid and hanis zalika.

*does no longer blogs (kalau tibatiba sekarang dah start blog balik, tolong bagitau url. tapi kalau dia tak sudi aku baca, aku faham)

(note: ini rough draft only dan mampu untuk diperfectokan. whateverrr).

yeahhh, aku suka perempuan-perempuan ini. nevermind mereka ini bimbo ke hape. i would like to address to that question first jika ada yang terfikir (entah siapa aku sorang je kot beriya nak highlight point ni) sebab pada dulunya aku juga seperti manusia tipikal lain yang prejudis bahawa perempuan-perempuan sebegini adalah bimbo (female jealousy). Istighfar, okay.

but the thing is, hmmm… aku tak jugak cop diorang bimbo pun masa first time baca their blog. itu lain cerita lah — kalau aku boleh baca dan terus membaca their blog maknanya mereka ini bukanlah omong kosong merapu kepunden paran skeper whateverrr like some other bloggers yang urggghhh (like dontmakemefinishthesentence. besides, its the freedom of speech also, lantak kau lahhh). yang penting entri-entri blogging mereka adalah mencuit hati. oui. amusing, okay. cara diorang blog sangat straightforward, bahasa sangat mudah, sangat simple storytelling tapi ciri yang penting selepas mereka ini amusingearnest. cerita bersungguh dan sangat humble membebel pasal diri sendiri tapi lebih highlightkan tentang kelemahan mereka. kelemahan itu yang tidak juga dijadikan setback, tetapi diceritakan dengan nada yang kelakar. haihhh, kalau orang cantik-cantik gini pun sedar diri, malu sikit okayyy pada mereka yang tak sedar diri dah lah perangai buruk, fizikal juga buruk (omg, Istighfar nowlepas ni mengadap okay).

moi: dude… ade dua model and a—
tagg: nak berkenalan dengan aku? (gelak gulingguling agaknya almost tercekik dinner nasi lemak telur mata)

sejak-sejak ini memang aku suka baca blog the two highly paid action figuritas dan gdsjht sampai aku teringin nak berkawan dengan mereka di facebook tapi ish aku segan nehhh. nak berkawan kat facebook je, kalau terjumpa live (macam lea diorang ade hati nak tegur aku atau even give a damn anyways), biasa lea aku akan plain play my favourite game nobody-like-you-exists-within-my-radar. hmmm, kena tukar rule game ni. kena mula masuk-masukkan signals rule, baru lea guys nak approach. memanjang buat orang lain tak wujud dan buat hal sendiri macam berada dalam dunia sendiri, tak siapa langsung pun heran kewujudan kau jua, nehhh.

another point — when i am almost facing the blogger’s block, i will go to their sites and read their entries. how i find it wonderful that diorang boleh bercerita luahan hati mereka dalam nada yang simple tetapi amusing dan tidak menjengkelkan (at least to me). yea, they are the beautiful people, you cannot deny fitrah manusia that we are easily attracted to beautiful things or the least easy-on-the-eye. fofularrr, ramai peminat on top of ramai kawan, meletop-letop happening life… but the hell. diorang tu pun work hard jugak, bukannya benda datang turun  jatuh ke riba sangat. i guess that’s why i am appealed to them… whatever, goes without saying. female jealousy setakat kaki mereka sehalus lengan mereka… dll (ohhh, ade list jugak rupanya).

laboureth moi

Two croissants, two cafe lattes, two hundred kisses, and an absolute minimum of two very regrettable orgasms later, we were well entrenched into the bed in 606. I felt giddy with happiness. An orgasm really is the answer to almost every problem in life. I honestly believe that if everyone was having orgasms regularly, there wouldn’t be a Palestinian conflict. Seriously, no one would ever get out of bed in time for it.

moi at mercer h
chapter 10, bergdorf blondes a novel
plum sykes