this piece of hard candy with a surprise center

dear ___,

all these while when i’ve met too many assholes and bastards under the disguise of sengal/bebal dorks, my only prayer to HIM was that, when the right one comes along, it will be easy. no nonsenses. or at least, i am not going through what i’m going through with the ones i wasted my time with.

maybe i’m not there yet, but with this particular you, what i’m feeling is different with how i felt when i was with the draco malfoys.

of so many times i’ve always dared you’re going to let me down — you don’t. even when you did, what you do later to redeem, to compensate, was bigger that it is impossible to not forgive you.

when you do the unexpected — it may be the act of undying love and i would go perplexed — but i don’t feel messed up trying to figure you out. what settles on me is that i am so loved, by you.

and what i’ve always wanted in a man, foremostly, is that you’re decisive. it makes me respect you even more.

then again …

i’ve always wonder, is it because of the circumstances between us, we are able to make things nearly perfect like this? because we limit ourselves and we can only love each other so much, things are as blissful as this? because we already know too well what will happened at the end of the day?

if i were asked, i wouldn’t want to take this chance. not again. it’s a hassle. our few significant differences. it’s just too bothersome to handle when we are finally hit with the reality of it.

but given the man you are, and if… just if, and only with His Strength, i may go through it. yet again.

and if i just can’t handle when that one inevitable, fateful day arrives the moment i thought i have always prepared for but will break down in pieces so tiny it could fit a needle’s hole — when you say that you met someone.

it’s the kind of feeling we felt when we watched that darn movie P.S. I Love You.

that movie sucks.

to sum it up …

you don’t even need the free passes. you’re just you.

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