there are days that i could spend the whole time crying. like there’s nothing else that i do can be as satisfying as crying. i don’t know what i would do if i couldn’t cry anymore. i want to go somewhere, be somewhere else but here because being where i am right now makes me feels so trapped. because part of me can really hold on to grudges. i want to go away where that part of me can’t live. i want to go away where there’s this eager part of me can’t wait to take in everything new, starting everything fresh. i want to go somewhere where my hope soars higher than anything. i want to go somewhere, where i don’t have to go through this vicious cycle anymore. i want to go somewhere where i won’t be happy one minute, heart torn in a minute and the next minute i felt nothing. when i’m stupid like that, i dared hoped for tragedies to happened so that i get knocked back to my senses. right now, everything gets me that much to say it out loud, that i want to stop living and start dying. so can i go and die now?

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