little black book

suessy!
player yea kau sekarang.
every event, orang lain-lain kau bawak.
siapa tadi tu, suessy?
birthday boy tanya kena jawab…
siapa ni? cakap pasal sape ni?
tadi, suessy dengan that guy… kau tak prasan tadi?
aku ade bukti-bukti dalam kamera aku…
bukti-bukti ape ni?
kau tak nampak ke tadi? aksi-aksi ngeri!
siapa dia tu, suessy?
moi: he’s a professional escort.
nooooooooooooo wayyyyyyyyy
biar betul, suessy?
are you sure he’s not your boyfriend?
or are you actually afraid to tell us that korang dah couple, haa?
he’s good looking, though.
moi: celah mana dia good looking?
eh, okay lea dia, good looking.
korang dah lama kenal?
moi: nope.
adakah tadi baru first time korang berjumpa?
moi: yup.
OMG… biar betul, suessy?
tapi korang macam dah couple. the chemistry was sooo there. i was sure i wasn’t delusional.
yeahhh, chemistry korang power betul! obvious gile!
aku tengok korang berdua sampai aku kena tegur, “kau tengok ape ni haa?”
aku sangat diinspirasi! menyanyi pun pegang tangan macam ni macam ni. panasss hati mak!
suessy, betul ke dia tu professional escort? tapi korang punya chemistry… hebat!
moi: yesss.
suessy, you’re so adventurous! i like!
how much did you pay him?
moi: nothing.
mesti adeee… what happened between yang kau left early and then jumpa balik kat sini? mesti ade something happened. mesti sesuatu berlaku dalam jurang waktu itu.
moi: tak adeeeee.
mesti ade comolot at least.
moi: nothing. nothing nothing.
seriously, why kau tak payah bayar?
moi: ntah. sebab kawan-kawan kot… my friend introduced me to him.
OMG… aku tengah fikir berapa ramai hantar CV kat suessy sebelum dia picked up that guy.
so, korang lepas ni…?
moi: takde ape-ape.
habis dah? habis untuk hari ni je?
moi: habis. habis lea. takde mende lagi dah. nothing else after this.
are we gonna see him again?
moi: nope.
why nottt?
moi: tak lah. buat ape?
suessy, kau ade tak nombor telefon dia, suessy? aku pun nak jadi professional escort lea.
aku pun nak gak. ni keje part time ke?
moi: for him, ye lea…
uishhh, aku pun nak weyyy. habis tu, keje sebenar dia ape?
moi: exec. that’s what he said.
berapa aa bayaran untuk professional escort? lumayan tak? kau tanya tak dia, suessy?
moi: to the point dia tak payah usik duit gaji dia. langsung.
kat mana kau jumpe dia, suessy, dia advertise kat website ke ape?
moi: ha’a. w-w-w dot facebook dot com.
eh, serious, eh, kau boleh advertise ape-ape je kat facebook?
moi: of course lea… yang eight inches, nine inches tu… korang main tak game tu?
kalau aku, aku tak nak jadi professional escort. aku nak jadi mama-san dia!
moi: oh, sorry that if anything have made you feel uncomfortable.
tak lah! aku suka! aku rasa happy tengok kau macam tu. aku ingatkan kau memang dah couple dengan mamat tu.
cantik kau hari ni, suessy.
moi: thank youuu, farizz.

+ + +

dear professional escort,

i dont know you, true. but i think i know enough.
i root for your pain and weirdly, i easily ached as well.
i think the state of being where you are right now is so sick.
when i was at your place before, i hardly breathe.
right now you’re so full of yourself and you defy the greatest force after HIM.
once upon a time you had that little black book and you had all those fun.
and then something disguised as love found you and it breaks you dearly.
isn’t this what life is trying to balance?
now you’re opening back that little black book.
i dread at the thought of it because i think you can do so much better.
you can be a better person than that.

trust me.

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