hormonal rage (updated)

there’s some sheer excitement and newness upon purchasing a brand new timepiece.

suessy sekarang bukan suessy yang lama
suessy sekarang sudah pakai jam tangan baru
^-^

i love to make a statement like that when i have something new in the manner of one of my mentor bloggers, mat jan
mat jan sekarang bukan lagi mat jan yang lama
mat jan sekarang sudah pakai desktop/laptop/kamera/etc baru

i have been telling myself to get a dainty bracelet watch to mark my age, to shashay the wrist elegantly at dinners, weddings upon wearing it with delicate dresses.

there’s nothing wrong with leather straps, of course but i want to indulge in what anysz says of moi, “you are actually the girly-girly type, suessy. i cannot imagine you anything else.”

the first solvil of mine with that kitten picture dial is being sent off for studs replacement, straps changing and glass polishing and it’ll be another two months before i see it again.
my second solvil — ^-^ — is this braid silver chains with gigantic 3 and 9 on its white dial.

think i’m always a solvil babe.
tak mampu lagi titus lea, dude
soon (^-^)

+ + +

i want to go ice skating.

+ + +

if it is not made easy, it is not what i want.

looking on the bright side, i believe that i get to know better and better type of people. maybe he’s missing this or he’s missing that. but they’re getting better. i know i’ll get to him eventually.

+ + +

of course, do not feel bad if you are not included or not thought of when you think of  them all the time or wanting to include them in your most important days of your lives.

nooo, do not feel bad. even when they’re four against yourself. easy for them to say jangan fikir into it sangat. eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasy.

besides, they don’t really know you when they think they know enough and is always ready to promptly judge you as if they can see through you when you are the one who sees clearly right through them and you never judge them when they’re offtrack. in fact, you were always the solid shoulder. and always patiently explained yourself to them.

i am crazy to be taking so much into consideration about them. it’s so fucked up.

it is to the point that bila aku nak kahwin nanti, aku terus hantar kad je. i won’t bother about sharing how-we-first-met stories.

if i can do that to men, i can do that to girls too.

+ + +

for the first time after some time, some guy said “love you” to moi.

previously i thought that was the easiest thing to say. later i found out it took a hell lot of internal commitment and conflict for a guy to eventually say those words.

looking at the circumstances, the above does not applies. not for someone like him. semua perkataan-perkataan sebegitu sangat mudah dilontarkan.

i am too traditionally corny.

+ + +

faridz kena marah sebab asyik cakap pasal siri sendiri.

it’s me, me, me, me, me, and meeee!

then again, i hate myself for shouting at him. my choice of words were not brilliant enough.

bengong. is that the best i could do? ari wouldn’t even bother to roll his eyes.

-_-“)

+ + +

i cannot watch korean dramas, seriously. they make you hope for those non-existing cinta abadi. wishful thinking dowh. but i recommend the couples in trouble to watch them so that they can appreciate how they can easily reach out to each other, via telephone, e-mail, FB and old town white coffee, to be in love without social hierarchy shit, if only, in the first place, they start talking to each other. nicely.

you don’t know what you’re missing, people.

+ + +

i’m stuck now. and i hate where i am being stucked at.

it is truly, easy, much, much easier being single. i’m not ready as much as i am too ready for a relationship.

because i don’t tolerate to what-i-want-i-don’t-get really well. i barely cope.

i believe that him-he-is-the-one will handle me just fine and seamlessly, regardless my tantrums.

so until then, i’m stuck. sampai aku tak tau nak behave macam mana ahad nanti. i am traditionally corny, you know.

+ + +

i don’t sleep well. i keep waking up every half an hour.

it’s insane when your brain keeps working. about work, about people asking questions you can’t answer, about what to wear, about the particular eyeshadow, about money, about all the assholes who makes you feel worthless.

+ + +

i want to go to penang.

i want to be in penang.

T___T

+ + +

i pray that you would bring me home soon enough.

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