lehry king: welcome to the show, blair. happpy belated birthday!
queen b: thank you.
lehry king: so you turned 26, yes?
queen b: yup!
lehry king: what are you looking forward to now that you are 26?
queen b: i’m looking forward to my next birthday party with my girlfriends… my bridesmaids as i would like to refer to on this particular clique… if i lived long enough.
lehry king: bridesmaids? are you getting married any time soon?
queen b: no, i don’t even have a boyfriend. i’m still very single. it’s just that i’m 26 now, not 16, so i have the wedding plans ready. the groom can come along and put himself in place later.
lehry king: okay… so your bridesmaids threw you a party? we heard that they did that for you, despite that you were very upset with them on the actual birthday.
queen b: yeahhh… they threw the wickest belated birthday suprise party ever. i was elated… i am still elated. they are… the fuckeristas… i got fucked up by them. totally.
lehry king: where? where did you get fucked? i’m referring anatomically-fucked-where, right now, okay.
queen b: fucked in the mind, lehry… it was mind blowing… the distance they go for to celebrate my birthday… it was the. best. party. ever!
lehry king: after the surprise, there was dinner, and then you guys went to the club… how was it?
queen b: it was like something out of BEP’s i gotta feeling video. it was fu-u-u-nnn all the way. except that there’s no fergie prancing around in lingerie and feather boa. else, the guys would only wanna dance with her… dammit, haha!
lehry king: a little birdie told me that you danced with someone and only that someone that night.
queen b: i danced with everyone. i danced with my girls mostly and just a few nanoseconds with some of the guys… each of them… other than that, i just danced. i don’t care.
lehry king: but more with this particular someone.
queen b: yeahhh, i guess… i did.
lehry king: so is there anything going on between the two of you?
queen b: nothing, we just dance.
lehry king: is he a prospect?
queen b: i don’t know…i have yet to do a BC on him.
lehry king: a BC?
queen b: background check.
lehry king: oh… you need to do that…? why would you need to do that?
queen b: i guess i’m just still monogamous all the way… you know… i gotta know that if he’s actually un-single… i need to at least know. it’s my comfort level.
lehry king: but they say when everybody‘s at the club, everyone‘s single. and you were only dancing with him. there’s nothing more… is there?
queen b: no… but, even though they say when in the club, everyone is single, i don’t know whether i will ever get used to that rule or not. i hate the unnecessary troubles of catfights and name calling… in the end, it’s really the dude who is the asshole and we girls just wasting our time.
lehry king: so you don’t want to waste your time?
queen b: not in this department… it will only go round and round. i just want to have a totally good time. and he was there, he was a sport. still, i don’t know whether i would turned into a vincent chase or not — one who just have fun, yadayada, one gal after another. i believe i’m always an eric murphy at heart when it comes to relationship.
lehry king: eric murphy goes back to sloan and get back together. would it be the same with you and tagg?
queen b: i don’t think about tagg the way eric murphy thinks about sloan on the possibilities of getting back together. i’m eric murphy… in the sense that i-want-a-relationship, i don’t want to do any randoms.
lehry king: in your recent blog entry, you stated that you will only respond to someone who looks like ebizo ichikawa xi these days, because you’ve had enough of men. does he (the one you danced with) looked like one?
queen b: haha… well, we clicked, that’s all. he was a sport, a friend. i just met him. so it is just that.
lehry king: okay. let’s talk about the accident after the club when you guys were heading back to the hotel
queen b: yeahhh… the accident was… another mind-blowing unfortunate event.
lehry king: what happened?
queen b: isla drove somewhat fast that night… but weirdly enough, when we got to the exit and realized there were cars lining up in the tunnel — at four-thirty a.m. — too late, she slammed on the brakes, and there was no sound at all.
lehry king: no sound?
queen b: yeah. no skidding sound when you slammed on your breaks, you know? it was like being in a silent slippery cup. isla swerved the car to the left but thinks it’s better to go to the right so we hit the last car in the queue — it was an alfa romeo — and with that impact, it slowed our car down and we stopped like, just a few metres from the tree.
lehry king: else it could’ve been fatal.
queen b: it could’ve been, if we hit the tree, yeah. hazel was in the middle of the backseat. we didn’t put on our seat belts.
lehry king: that was hazardous.
queen b: totally.
lehry king: what were you feeling at the time?
queen b: at first i was, telling isla and hazel to calmed down. isla panicked and keep apologizing, jess went hysterics because it’s her car… eric get her to calmed down… and hazel got hit on the face and her right leg, the tibia part… i think it hit the middle compartment… and then i came to like… senses? i cried because i was so scared what if one of us were gone. i keep crying and didn’t want to stay in the car even though they told me to because after us, there were cars after cars sliding on that slippery road. i don’t want to be in the car and get slammed by the next car coming.
lehry king: slippery? it was raining that night, right?
queen b: yeah. and they put oil on the road.
lehry king: they?
queen b: yup. the keparats babi melayu paria. it’s after raya, you know, dah banyak pakai duit so now they need to cari duit. nelly said, to offer solutions, they create problems. jess’ bro almost didn’t get away when he explained to me — within the keparatsbabimelayuparias’ hearing — that “diorang letak minyak atas jalan…” and they pounced on jess’ bro, “jangan nak suka-suka cakap letak minyak… kau tu mabuk, mabuk jugak… jangan sampai mabuk macam paria…”. jess got madder and shot back, “yang kau nak terasa, kenapa, kau ke letak minyak?”… it took the whole of us to coaxed jess to stop talking back to them and apologize to the fuckers profusely but them assholes just keep provoking us, you know? they never stopped psycho-ing us. and not one of us were drunk, at all, that night. none of us. so fuck them.
lehry king: but it was like a message from the Up There also, wasn’t it?
queen b: yeahhh… it was.
lehry king: so right now it’s reflecting time?
queen b: yeah. the fact that we survived. we were all okay except for minor bumps and bruises. other than that, yeah. it’s time to reflect.