spazz spazzz spazz

on being friends with tagg —
it is easier being friends after the whole year of rage. the entries stays and tagg is still furious about it. whatever.

on jews and gays —
the only time tolerating it is when watching entourage. and i’d rather take real lesbians kissing being shot in pictures rather than these girls konon-konon dared to be shot in pictures almost smooching with one another or deepthroating the other gal for the lowest point of attention and their boyfriends’ guyfriends’ masturbating activities. whatever.

on the bliss of being smitten —
it’s just nice to go gaga on a certain someone even though it may not be mutual. because when it’s eventually mutual, i know i will only want to stick around when it’s nice. or worse, after i’ve finished telling that person off how i feel without concerning his feelings and consequences, i tend to be all okay again almost immediately and doesn’t that drives a man to the brink of goddd-she’s-a-psycho-dude!

whatever ifyouwannagotataalready!

on experimenting with eyeshadow makeup —
sazali will cry seeing me with it. and he won’t want to marry me. whatever.

on the favourite lines —
you just wanna dance in your wreckless path
close your eyes, see colorful things you wanna
let go, feel wonderful things, just a bit more
textin me a 100 times
callin me a 100 times
hope it is not you this time
damn i gotta change my line
textin me you’re gonna die
i aint a punk bitch, i don’t give a fuck
i’m just bein me and speakin from the gut
where you get that money from
wait where you running to
why I hearing sirens
where them blue lights coming to

i especially heart the green verses because the one i am currently being smitten with described his ex like this and i just love it when everything reminds me of him. whateverrr.

on being moneyless —
i haven’t been hit by the fucking reality yet. i’m feeling at peace, really. not even worrying. yet kot. haihhh, bila lea nak sedar diri ni. percaya sangat dengan tangan kanan sentiasa gatal ni. whatever.

on projects and opportunities —
we/i really want to be free of being employed. being the own boss. but i like to be a p.a. because i like to organize other people’s life except mine. thank you aneeza for requesting me to be the admin of your boutique blog. thank you pharhunt for suggesting me to become a speaker for the english camp. thank you sazali for still wanting me to do your paperwork. thank you future husband for the cartier watches, mikimoto necklaces, range rover/touareg rides, gorgeous kids, all the sisley, kookai and nanette lepore pieces and adoring me with the short hair and crazy about j-dorama/harry potter/entourage. whateverrr.

on the bliss of waiting for the unknown —
as much as you — i smell desperation — rasa you boleh adjust this guy or that guy to your liking, isn’t it much nicer to wait for the perfect package because sebenarnya dia wujud and some things are really worth waiting for *heart never been kissed!* tidak mengapa, just be who you are despite orang kata you jual mahal or terlalu memilih. have dealt with enough shit, surely you believe you deserve better, kan? ade second chance ni… jangan go backward. raise the bar higher. even if it was you who screwed up, surely he screwed up more because he came back for you, no?

oui, i believe there is a takuya kimura-lookalike for moi who hearts discovery channel, books, cats, food, play strategy games and can’t do his life without moi.

right now, i am just smitten. not in love. ohhh, saya suka tergolek-golek begini being smitten, whateverrr.

on those almost lover —
if he keeps saying, “thanks for calling”, he’s just plain shitty. he’s not that thankful, okay. move on, ladies. if he really want you he’d seal the deal. simple as zat.

on those dreams that makes you feel worse after you woke up —
the dream is pleasant. as pleasant as indulging in soft vanilla creams that’s not too light nor too heavy. in that dream there was that someone nice i am familiar with. i know that something nice will happen soon, the dream me is anticipating it. and then i woke up like it’s the next natural thing to do only to later — excruciatingly accepting the fact — realized, i have just cut off the cable from that dream — oh. fuct. up. i will never taste how nice it (that anticipated thing) is and i dread it more knowing that i have also for long have cut off the cable with that someone nice and moved on with my life.

but if only… if only… i get to taste it again one last time — and have another *boleh?*. whatever.

ms moelikiss urainia hussain