âne de coup-de-pied

(translation: kick ass)

untuk awak juga... n-n-nahh!
untuk awak juga... n-n-nahh!

+ + +

doing lines with mum —

“there was a couple at the reunion so lovey-dovey together. they are husband and wife, of course, everyone knows that. a friend of mine, however, not masking disbelief said, “they are too intimate to be husband and wife.”

~~~

moi: ally called me the other day. twice. i called her back but she didn’t pick up also. i texted her but so far no reply.
mum: she must be very busy. with work.
moi: i’m counting on that. i hope it’s not the other thing.
mum: i thought shawn cried last time. can’t be that he would hit ally again?
moi: so whattt? jack cried, freddy cried. cheats again, beats again. anyways.
mum: all those crocodile tears…

+ + +

spotted: lonely boy heading to the house of god for a snooze fest. serena and blair went to lame house for drinks. blair forgot her titanium card, so she pau-ed serena for a non-milky milk ice tea.

that’s all.

+ + +

aneeza: foreigners are always over-friendly. there’s nothing there in the romance dept.

+ + +

ever seen something so beautiful that crumbles in mere minutes?
made you screamed at yourself silently — wtf — we had it back then, and now… it’s gone?

just like zat?!

sadly. yes.

+ + +

last saturday i had migraine for twelve waking hours. rasa kepala sangat berat to the point felt almost paralyzed. nak bercakap pun requires intenseful energy that i need to packed up untuk keluarkan even satu patah perkataan. it wasn’t the food; chocolate, cheese, or telur ikan yang high in cholestrol. it wasn’t coffee either — tidak tahukah kamu biji kopi adalah bahan anti-oksidan seperti buah-buahan dan sayur-sayuran juga?

it is smoke.

suessy adalah girlfriend yang foolishly high in tolerance with those around her who smokes. nak smoke dalam vesper pun takpe. suessy tak cerewet tang ni. grew up with my dad the heavy smoker. each time he comes home smelling of air-conditioned tobacco. my boyfriend — i buy him a pack of marlboro each and every time aku berduit (memang aku tak reti appreciate rokok brand lain *growing up with dad influence* — aku kan tak sedar diri marieantoinetteletthemeatcake), jangan beritau aku to not buy, itu adalah antara kepuasan aku to know i took care of my boyfriend well. anyways, nak smoke, smoke lea the real tobacco leaves no… kau sedut kertas lagi lea mendamagekan paru-paru kau dalam kadar segera. atau lain-lain anggota badan termasuk anggota badan bayi pramatang.

my girlfriends smoke, go ahead… puff it my way. minum-minum, dalam kereta, after lunch, ciggie breaks, after dinner, after clubbing. takde halll.

although when it happens — the time i was the second hand smoker — tak trigger anything yet… but as i slept on it when i came home at night and waking up the next day — bammm! it clouded and trapped between the membrane and the skull like omg. overcondensed tinggal nak meletup je being the most natural thing to do. and i cried. puasnya menangis. sepatutnya aku menangis pasal that stupid guy who stole my heart and dumped it in the sea aku kena mintak tolong sebastian the crab kutipkan balik. tapi aku tak menangis pun pasal that guy, aku terus frozen. tapi sepatutnya ikut fitrah kebiasaan aku, menangis itu lega.

oh well, sebenarnya aku tak pernah langsung menangis pasal kau, okey. nurlin akan suruh aku pakai balik sunglasses kalau nak menangis tapi tak meleleh setitik pun saline. cordee and aneeza gelak-gelak menonton attempt aku untuk menangis bwahwahwah kat teh tarik corner yang tak jadi langsung — haha! most unconvincing tears macam malaysian dreamgirl nyer award!

+ + +

found: image of the latest eligible bachelor in local market. hm. maybe he is also a global elite. at parties.
first impression: this is it?! this. is. him?!

+ + +

bila layan sangat kepala yang tengah bosanmeragamtakberduittakbergossiptakberboyfriend ni, makin menjadi-jadi paranoia aku.

current paranoia aku adalah ditinggalkan sazali.

ini kes anysz lah jugak ni. ikut sangat cakap anysz, ikut sangat cakap sazali. bila diorang tengah sibuk dengan life diorang, aku jadi tak menentu bila aku mahukan pendapat dan mereka unavailable. berbeza bila roha ke aussie — dan akan datang ke dubai pula, like, omg, aku tak mentally prepare lagi!

thats it. sebab bila dengan roha aku mentally prepared. she may not be accomodating bila aku call, tapi bila dia nak berhijrah, dia akan mentioned and i *almost* calmly prepare myself mentally. as with anysz and sazali, it’s natural for me that at the most the fifth ring anysz/sazali will pick up the phone. lama-lama bila diorang makin menumpu balik kepada hal hidup masing-masing, aku jadi tak menentu. yeah, sure aku mampu menjaga diri sendiri. kena grow up, kena independent.

tapi sekarang… entah lea, aku pun malas nak layankan sangat bila dah orang tak nak layan kita jugak kan? tak perlu cari alasan untuk mereka bila mereka pun tengah tepu otak handle masalah sendiri. biarkan mereka selfish dahulu dan aku layan kepala sendirian. aku pun pernah selfish dan mereka layankan aku. it should be a compliment to me that they think i should be able to cope better after all these things.

yeahhh.

whateverrr.

+ + +

there is this person.

i can tell it’s him just by the sound of his footsteps.

and he would slightly looked to the side of his shoulder after he passed me.

that doesn’t necessarily means flirting, no?

sazali kata, “psycho”.