silly madness

when i witnessed three similar events in one evening based on what mum always highlighted to moi… i was truly glad that i didn’t have a boyfriend – the operative word here is boyfriend

girlfriend 1: i told him there’s an extra voucher to the breaking fast because someone was unable to make it at the last minute. he became so skeptical and suspicious on why i invited him at the last minute. nama pun last minute, what other explanation does he wants?! then he heard a guy’s voice and he said, “you are going to have so much fun then breaking fast with your friends!”
moi: of course, it’s going to be fun! what is he expecting, a disaster? earthquake? tsunami?
girlfriend 1: when he said friends, he meant “friends”… as in, you and that guyyy.
the guy was our tuition mate and he actually left wayyy earlier because he doesn’t want to hang around the next two hours at the hotel watching starworld. the boyfriend flatly turned the girlfriend’s invitation down with additional sly remarks. then he called up five minutes later saying he’s in a cab already. the girlfriend became frantic because she already passed the voucher to someone else. the boyfriend became skeptical again in these words, “if there was a voucher for me then, why there is no more now?”. the girlfriend confirmed with the organizer if there is any extra vouchers and when there is, she calls the boyfriend again. the boyfriend said he’s already off the cab. as we headed home around ten, the boyfriend called up and asked the girlfriend if she has swapped numbers with anyone at the breaking fast. the girlfriend shouted at him as she drives and it stopped my conversation with the other girlfriend inside the car.

girlfriend 2: i have this good intention to ask him to come over and join us breaking fast with the extra voucher and he spent the first thirty-minutes nagging to me.
when this girlfriend says “good intention”… it means that she actually avoids all the foreseen potential psycho moments with the boyfriend, who – in real life only-the-girlfriend-witnessed-it because everybody else thought he’s very charming and attentive (i was one of those people before) – actually does not allow the girlfriend to even meet her own BFFs. if he knew where she’d been with us all these times, the girlfriend is sooo dead.

girlfriend 3: he won’t let me go to the breaking fast. he’s with his temper asking why this is planned at the last minute? i can’t go unless i bring along one of his mates’ girlfriend with me.
this gal’s boyfriend at one time actually had her locked in a room because of… i never knew the reason why. but whatever it is, nothing justifies him for doing that to her.

these boyfriends are nice guys actually. charming, easy-going, and fun. but when they get psycho like this, it’s in calvin’s mum words – when calvin asked her what love is at 3am in the morning, screaming from his room as if he got attacked by a burglar or whatever – “it (love) is the only thing that is stopping me from strangling you.”

because of love, because of fear being single, because of fear being lonely, because of fear being looked down, because of fear being labeled pathetic, because of fear being mocked and teased not being knotted and knocked up… are these the reasons one stayed in such a relationship? not for me (so far)… i guess not being moderate has its ups. not that i never tolerate such behaviours of a boyfriend, he digs up his nose in front of moi, or he has this ultimate obsession on gadgets/games/wheels, or he’s very tamak haloba with food he wouldn’t share that i find it endearing and amusing and adorable… but when it comes to this kind of shit… i’d let go.

there was this boyfriend who was sooo adamant and wanted me to get out of a family gathering so that i could be with him – when we already spend the day before and the day before before together – i told him we’re over. and i literally felt that a burden is lifted off of my shoulders… that was really uplifting to feel that sensation.
a boyfriend who constantly showered moi with PDA and there’s this one time in a crowded LRT train, the worst – in front of a very religious family. i could only look down because i could not move elsewhere because the coach was fucking crowded.
a boyfriend who keeps calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling and calling…

they were nice boyfriends actually… all the attention and materials… i sincerely hope there is a girl out there who would love them with all her heart and withstand the silly madness.

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as this is posted on the blog, girlfriend 1 is no longer a girlfriend as of now. she is currently single, beautiful, and a career-confused engineer.

that was a compliment with affection.