Chak-keeeee

1. Tall – 6 ft and above
2. Lanky
3. Not the first born, not the second born
4. Open to quirkiness
5. Inconsistency and moodiness applied knowing that it is only a phase to go through
6. Big hair is a plus or somewhat like Jakob Dylan’s or Chuck Bass’ haircut
7. The jaw
8. Speaks Converse English fluently – not just understand but could not speak back in English
9. Knowing Japanese and French is a plus
10. Amusing but not annoying or obnoxious

I’m just making the list mentally… Huda keeps saying to moi, “Kau tak boleh dapat macam yang kau nak. Nobody’s perfect.” Of kross she’s super-right on the statement and it is a too common knowledge for moi, as common as the only statement the anak mak could come with about her tissues-embedded-under-her-chest flashing tubes, “Saya tak kisah apa orang nak cakap, saya seksi ke, cakap lah. Ini adalah diri saya yang sebenar.” (please dearest actresses who claimed that they are anak mak, masih-berpijak-di-bumi-yang-nyata, this PR sentence is wayyyyy ancient. Time to acknowledge what people observe of you even if you’re not gonna do a goddamn thing about it, tau mutual respect?).

Nobody is perfect, the statement rings true sepanjang zaman. I have been accepting a man as he is for the past four years despite whatever he lacks – which is almost everything that would guarantee (at least) the minimal comfortability in life. But I still loved – loved, okay, past tense – him, and I had – had, okay, past tense – faith in him. I never demanded but I tried to make him work for wealth so that he truly deserves it, relishes in his own hard work, and that his ego is intact (work as in he’s always the one demanding for ideas from moi to put to business or something that we can build together to make our own empire or something and when I produced those ideas to him, he chose to find a girl with a bigger paycheck – and do note that I cared for his ego so much, too much to the point that I acknowledged it and gave his ego credits… fuck me).

Right now all I’m doing is just… asking. For those criteria listed above.

And I am not going to list the man that I like must be:
1. Berbudi pekerti
2. Bersopan santun
3. Bertimbang rasa
4. Bertolak ansur
5. Hormat orang tua
6. Sukakan kanak-kanak
7. Mengecat surau dan menolong orang buta melintas jalan (hobi-hobi Mat Jan)
These are common knowledge for goodness sake. Dulu-dulu kalau URTV temubual artis-artis perempuan tentang apa yang tidak disukai tentang lelaki mesti senarai sama je:
1. Lelaki curang
2. Lelaki menipu
3. Lelaki panas baran
4. Buaya darat
Manalah aku tak mual baca majalah-majalah Melayu. Tolong lea lebih kreatif (tahap merayu). Mungkin artis perempuan tu boleh senaraikan begini:
1. Lelaki yang suka korek hidung di khalayak ramai
2. Lelaki yang suka terjah masuk LRT/komuter/monorel/bas tanpa memikirkan orang lain di sekeliling
3. Lelaki yang suka sepak kucing
4. Buaya darat yang pandai mengikis duit perempuan dan suka dipayung-emaskan berinstall penghawa dingin udara.

I once said that if I ever finished it with arwah (which I already am), he is my last investment and that the only man I wanted to marry is Eminem. Despite everything that Eminem is, his heart is at the right place. Ooh la la. Kalau tak suka, Eminem will say it as it is, babe. Tak perlu for moi to squeeze blood out of your balls… oh wait a sec, you do have them actually. I thought you don’t have thems since you just had to put moi on hold in a whirlwind of superfantastic sympathize-me-I’m-lost lies.

Done and done.

Moving on the the 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th and soon 18th episode (downloading right now) of Gossip Girl like oh my god. Love – cinta – love Chuck Bass. Can’t get enough of him. “Say you need me…” Of krosss, bebeh. Serena goes into a hell of a roller coster ride, Jenny thinks she’s a baddie but she’s just being plain stupid, Blair is always the best and Chuck is just superChuckie!

It’s like, you don’t mess up with the fab four (Blair, Serena, Nate, Chuck) especially when one of them is Blair Waldorf. You just don’t. As messed up, selfish, devilish, scheming, narcissists that they are, they are also everything else but stupid. And those who perasan that they are sucha badass are actually just plain stupid. Georgina is totally the F****-cloned. To create a spawn of satan, just refer F****.

Alrite, my 18th episode has finished downloading. Au revoir!

Pictures are from JustJared. Mr J, please don’t sue me. I’ll take them down when you tell me to.