It’s an Omen

Year 2008 and it’s only the 4th day of May. It is highly laced and might turned to the first layer of organza of celebrity deaths and break ups. I cut my hair this way thinking I will be the only one doing it without realizing I was actually the first in line to do so. I would never want to be trendy but breaking up is an in thing and I just happened to be in there. I really don’t need a carplate to prove that.

I asked, “Mum, if Nasha Aziz putus tunang, then I am not so bad, isn’t it?” and Mum answered, “Nobody says you’re bad. Things changed.”

I know this is outdated but I just had to blog again and again. I know I deleted the entry Pergi II after being with Nazirah and she confirmed my current status is ‘wallowing self-pity’. The statement squirmed me so much I felt desperate for a Wi-Fi and my laptop like I need oxygen. That is why when you moved to a new place, make sure there’s gonna be Internet. Despite that your life is going on with so many un-Malaysia car rides and patio-view restaurants without needing a carplate with an emblem to prove that, and that you actually go out after work and not only abuse the Internet connection at the office, Internet is like a condom. When you gotta use it, it’s gotta be there. Period.

I thought Cashmere Mafia was bland, like The Starter Wife. But then I watched the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth episode, it was all about breaking up and starting over. Then again, what first caught my attention actually is that Mia’s Jason looks a little bit like the new N, my new N. Tall, the hair, the nose, and that smile. And that he is always pushing back his hair. Swoon me.

And actually, Nazirah’s second short film had a thing about break up as well – and she was cringing when I keep shrilling to her, “you’re killing me, right? You’re so killing me, kan? Kan?” – but her message was actually about the suicide statistic. Thank HIM that despite all the things I’m wastingly mulling through that is not there anymore, I never thought about ending my life despite I keep chanting kill me, kill me now. I do want to live, okay. He is only worth leaving, not to die for.

I am actually terlalu slow… I guess in this period my comprehension skill of the person I worshipped so much is minimal, I tend to understand the whole situation too late. I had Anysz telling me this and that but it is only impaled in my head when Roha told me – the same thing told again. Or when Roha and Anysz already told me the same thing, it was until I listened to a girl (Nazirah) who is wayyy younger than me then I was really listening……… Tak jugak. Watching Cashmere Mafia then provoked me that no matter how powerful and beautiful you are, Mum says it best, “Lelaki bodoh bila diorang mabuk dan bercinta.”
Not when with moi, he wasn’t stupid. When he’s with her. He just couldn’t stop talking about her. In front of moi. Stupide, stupide, stupide!

Urgghhh, and I let myself treated like that for soooo long. Too long. Done. Seriously? HE has mapped it out for moi to not, test moi but to test him and he failed. Suessy please… even if you’re moving on with your favourite teevee series that other people haven’t watch yet (sila berlagak now), you read comics and you need your own comfortable space to read it without any interruption, you glammed or metamorphed like a fucking New Yorker and that you sharpened your vocabulary Ari Gold-level, this is you. I gotta get me an assistant, like Josh or Roy… definitely a Lloyd. And one day, “Somewhere, a prince charming yang brokenhearted macam kau, akan jumpa kau and you guys will clicked.” Aww, Farizz… vous êtes si doux!

Liz: You know what I did, the last time a man broke up with me? Nothing. I got a new one. Why don’t you try that?
Mia: Liz, I know that you’re here to show me this is your territory now, but the fact that you had to make an appearance when you knew I’d be here proves that it’s not.
Liz: Aww, you just can’t handle that Jack has moved on.
Mia: And you just can’t admit that you’re the rebound girl. Enjoy the bounce.

Farizz said Big Shots is nice. I’m looking for it because there’s Michael Vartan and Dylan McDermott. Dylan McDermott, hello? Like so hot, he is only less hotter than Dermot Mulroney. See how the two names are a bit confusing it gets me? Thank god they’re hawt, hawt, hawt.

“You banyak membaca and tengok tv sangat. You blog bahasa New York, I tak faham.”
Darling, of krosss you don’t. You’re only the self-proclaimed Brit(neytish).