super outdated — original draft dated Oct-26 @ 23:01 — because it’s one tough documentation or i am just too darn lazy these days i only care about partying and gueci

anysz: kau tau tak suessy, all these birthdays ni… we first started it with yours last year!

+ + +

“i need your help…” — huda

huda picked me up around 5pm. she said we are first to make a stop at E to meet this lady yang buat hantaran kahwin. i was a bit tersedih sekejap thinking of the rad times i had there last year for cordee’s birthday. takpelah, let’s ago-go-go.

during the drive huda beria cerita dan bertanya pendapat pasal pilihan rona warna untuk hantaran kahwin. at first it was wayyy weird huda kata dia takde idea, takde masa, takde nak menyempat nak buat research hatta google sekali pun, maka dia memerlukan pendapat aku. nak ikutkan nak je aku tanya ulang-ulang, “betul keee kau takde idea, babe?” tapi nanti karang huda sound, “tak nak tolong, sudah lea!” mati aku. dah lea aku tengah merajuk dengan fgk-s, roha tengah meroyan buat assignment and nurlin kesengkekkan duduk diam-diam dengan sam over the weekend.

when we came to the parking lot, i was ranting about why didn’t i use my LV and still using the old rocker chick bag. aku suruh huda patah balik ke rumah aku sebab aku nak ambik beg LV itu so that konon-konon aku ini gadis-gadis the hills. dan sebab huda masa itu dengan beg guccinya. dan ini nak jumpa si wanita yang akan membuat hantaran kahwin untuk huda — create a fake repo lea sikit, konon-konon anak dato’ mana ke, mesti lady ni ramai clientele (-_-”).

naik ke lobby, we were both oogling at borneo pearls. huda was making calls to the lady hantaran kahwin — LHK — tapi dia buat panggilan tu sejauuuh-jauuuhnya dari aku. kalau boleh nak sorok bawah tangga lobi tu terus. aku ingatkan LHK tu tunggu kitorang dengan sampel-sampel dia kat lobi, tapi huda kata nak kena naik ke bilik. weird… ntah-ntah mak ayam nak cari anak ayam baru ke, kan?

huda terus-terus nak naik lif, tapi nak tunjuk aku ni selalu duduk hotel konon-konon — private partiesss, okay, aku kan gadis-gadis the hills (-_-”) — aku mentioned kat huda kena ade access card. huda pun terbantut nak naik lif, suruh aku tunggu jangan bergerak and dia pegi concierge. lepas tu dia datang balik and said LHK dah cakap kat staffs yang kitorang nak datang, suruh naik je tingkat 4 terus.

sampai tingkat 4, cari room 402. bilik corner rupanya… hmmm. nak pulak huda terus bukak pintu and bilik tu gelap. i was a bit delayed reaction although kalau nak ikut logik aku patut lari ke tangga sebab memang betul lea ni bilik mak ayam omigod mummy said don’t talk to strangers!!! tapi lepas tu aku tengok cordee in the room — am i having visions? — lepas tu start nyanyi happy birthday then aku nampak anysz pegang kek and ade roha tengah senyum lebar pegang kamera and omigod, apakah… and ohhh myyy goddddd nurlin pun ade whatthefuckkk!!! and then baru aku nampak the whole picture of aneeza and nani in the room and omigoshhh alllll my bridesmaids!!!

+ + +

“i have the spreadsheet that i prepared to execute your surprise party…” — anysz

aku tak tau nak wish ape, not even ebizo ichikawa xi came to mind, i was more into vince’s birthday wish in entourage episode 35 — i wish that we will all have a great year! — macam lea birthday aku atas yacht like his’ or lauren conrad’s but i really felt sooo glamorous at the time, the gals made me feel omigod i’m the superstar and yeahhh aku memang sangat superficial right now because i’m just still too euphoric.

they told anysz to get off the rose-petals path they made for me to walk through from the door. i blew the candles and hugged and kissed each and everyone as roha goes snapsnapsnap with her ixus. oh ya, cordee buat stripdance at the end of the rose-petals path for moi. and there was that huge ribbonized charles & keith paper bag on the bed with more rose petals all over the white sheets. there was this tallll vase of roses on the table and two mini bouquets — the works of roha and nurlin. balloons were absolutely everywhere on the floor.

we had the cake and anysz said she’s never going to recommends la manila again because she keeps ordering the same cake — kek yang aku suka pulak tu! (anysz) — and they had tapau nasi ayam also.

+ + +

“i am the element of surprise.” — nurlin

as we were having cakes and nasi ayam, i was meroyan-royan with the cm-s for pulling this off at the same time melayan aku mengadu about last tuesday. especially nurlin. she was with me the whole week.
“diorang suruh aku pick up kau, but then aku cakap, aku elemen surprise suessy, aku tak boleh pick up dia,” said nurlin haughtily.
moi: and i thought kau duduk diam-diam dengan sam kat umah over the weekend sebab tengah sengkek.
“ye lea, sengkek untuk birthday kau ni, tauuu!”

omigod they are the real fuckeristas… i was truly fucked up with this surprise.

what did you wish?
moi: i have always wished that all my bridesmaids are together doing something that we all can enjoy. i am sooo happy right now, i am so glad that each of you are here. i’m too happy! this is what i have sooo always wanted!
“awww…” said nani.

“we called your mum,” aneeza said.
moi: my mum?
“yup, we told her that we’re doing your birthday and that in case you would need to go back to bersiap or ambik anything, you have free passes to go in and out of the house at any time you want.”
moi: bila you call dia?
“semalam.”
moi: she knowwwsss?!!! she. knows. about. this?
patut lea mum said yes ever so smoothly on friday night when i told her huda nak datang ambik to go wedding stuffs shopping.

then they said mau pegi dinner sambil sesama sendiri sedang berebut nasi ayam. dinnerrrrr? habis ni tengah makan ni, ape? “lepas dinner, kita pegi clubbing. you just have to bersiap je, suessy. tonight, it is alll about youuu. okay, girls, 6.30 we’re out for dinner. 8.30 balik sini and by ten kita mesti dah chow to changkat.”

ohhh. myyy. goddd ~ \(^o^)/

+ + +

“ini memang bukan birthday yang economical.” — roha

all the while i am raking inside my head about the money they have spent.

“pegi lea tengok beg tu, suessy!” coaxed cordee. then dia kena sound dengan aneeza, “biar lea suessy discover sendiri, cord…” ohhh okay, aku dah terus lompat atas katil macam a cat pouncing on its prey and omigod i got my own charles & keith, baby! a brand new birkin, i feel sooo heidi montag right now, yes, aku adalah gadis-gadis the hills!

and then roha bagi kotak kasut nose. whattt? apakah… ape lagi ini, like, omigod!!!
“i fikir about you going clubbing and this is the perfect shoes for it…” wahhhhhhhhhhh rohaaaaa ape ai nak buat bila yu pegi dubaiiiii lepas niiiii ~ T_T
dikuatkan dengan faktor ini, four out of eight of us pakai kasut baru pada malam itu.

“suessy, pasta zanmai ade wi-fi?”
moi: yes.
omigoddd we’re going to pasta zanmai… they totally rememberrrrsssss ~ mari menangis lagi T_T

as we got into the lift, the girls said that the whole budget is worth three years’ birthday of mine so have all the fun while it lasts.
moi: you guysss… this must have been astronomical! omigod… i cannot imagine… aku tak nak tanya, i can just guess all the dimes that goes in for this.
“memang betul lea tu astronomical, ini bukan birthday yang economical!”
moi: i want to know everything! who calls who, how did it all started, sape planning —
“takde, takde, takde… we’re not telling. tapi anysz rounded us all up. untuk birthday kau ni, semua orang terpaksa bangun pagi-pagi… nak beli bunga… nak tiup belon… nak beli kek…” said huda dengan penuh keluhan.

+ + +

“i love shishamo!” — nani

so we were at pasta zanmai for dinner and there was already a heads up that nani wanted to shoe-shopped afterwards for her purple dress. i’m good and just too happy. i got all my bridesmaids, i’m just too freaking happy already.

“okay, suessy, you can order anything you want,” said nani. “aneeza?”
aneeza looked at me and said, “as long as it’s under rm5.” she said, spreading all her five fingers opened.

turns out elyas, sala and muizz will joined us later at changkat.
moi: permission to hug your boyfriendsss!
~ i’m just too grateful.
“tak boleh!” said anysz. ah, farizz was away anyways.

as we scanned the menu and decide what to order, nani was happy pointing out the shishamo.
“eee… macam mana rasa dia tu?” aneeza asked.
i read the menu and shishamo is grilled smelts.
“sedappp, syok gila makan shishamo ni.”
moi: what is it actually nani?
“shishamo is pregnant fish… they grilled it… sedappp. bila aku dengan izary bosan we will go to tropicana city mall and makan shishamo murah kat sana… 3ringgit for four.”
truly. dipped it in the soy sauced wasabi and pow! a total burst of flavour in your mouth. and you could hear those crackles of the smelts’ eggs inside your mouth.

lepas itu kami ke vincci, opera, blay, jusco… and not only nani but nurlin and huda also bought new shoes.
“8.45 dah ni, let’s gooo, let’s gooo!” anysz rounded us all to follow the schedule.

+ + +

“2.45 mission, suessy!” — cordee

nani challenged cordee and moi to kiss someone by 2.45 at the club.

moi: kiss who?
“anyone. random.”
moi: okay, like who?
“random, suessy, random. not with who, not what time, not at where. it’s random,” said aneeza.
moi: i’m a too damn good kisserrr to waste it on some random dude.
“try je lea, suessy, just once. 2.45, okay? cordee, okay… you pun. by 2.45. grab and just kiss someone.”
“oh-kay! set! suessy, kau pun, ‘kay? okay?” cordee asked moi.

pharhunt: ye ke kau tak cium sape-sape malam tu ~
moi: yeee pharhunt, bibir ini tidak menyentuh bibir-bibir sesiapa lagi… masih seallled.

oh ya, walaupun konsert beyoncè cancelled, i had two beyoncès attending my party dan mereka bakal berentap di kelab nanti.

+ + +

sweet dreams are made of these

elyas and sala arrived at the hotel picking us the dancing princesses. huda already left earlier to fill up the tank. anysz, cordee bundled up in aneeza’s ride along with elyas as the driver. i was waiting with roha and nurlin for huda but then, seeing sala and nani alone in one car, i decided to joined them. huda and muizz later arrived — i almost forgot about muizz coming, so roha and nurlin would be just comfortable with them in one car.

sala greeted moi and immediately commented, “ini baju yang hari tu, yea?” and ever so gentlemanly, he asked how am i feeling and i was profusely confessing to him i felt sooo bad of what i wrote in my blog earlier and what they have showered me so far was beyond amazing!

arrived changkat and gatdemm we were wayyy early, people are still having dinner, haha! snapsnapsnap pix this and that, joined by them the usually heard of ayang and aeyo and the rest of the clan. by then, let’s ge-e-e-ttt the party started!

bessssttt gileee menari dowh. i don’t know whether it’s a week or month worth of exercising but there i go from 11pm til 3am — just dance. totally. cheers and shouts for the birthday girl, lompat-lompat, layan sweet dreams, funk soul brother, cookie jar, creep, heartbreaker and so many more tapi bila sean kingston aku lepak luar. no wayyy man, not my song!

tukar-tukar kasut. wore the birthday shoes, then tukar pakai roha’s 4-inch nine west — giddygiddy mengada-ngada menari-nari kekadang nak terbalik ke belakang tak boleh nak stable kan diri yang became the start of something with one of the guys yang always got my back ever since suka hati aku pijak kasut dia sebab tak nampak dia ade kat belakang syok sangat menari haha! dalam kepala asyik fikir single ke tak dia ni, single ke tak? it wasn’t a matter of yeayyy lucky strike kasut roha menemukan jodoh untukku but aku tak nakkk menari dengan boyfriend orang, eww! i think dia single kot although elyas said, “sue, bila dalam kelab semua orang single. aku dengan aneeza pun single malam ni.” whateverrr, i can do that 2.45 yeayyy boleh close deal — malam tu i was somewhat competitive with cordee.

aneeza’s brother joined us a little later and we catch up on work, life and i found someone new to talk to about teevee — he watch HIMYM, prison break, lost and apetah lagi — he was totally an engaging person. and kacak. yeshhh, i’m advertising here since he keeps asking around if any of us know anyone single. i got two references from roha and farah — oh, hello dia ni macam my brotherrr, kitorang kutip biji saga depan rumah and main tepi longkang sebelum pergi sekolah sama-sama back sixteen years ago!

both ayang and farah are gorgeous chicks and they were really sweet — “birthday girl, there’s a red carpet waiting for ya!” the boys were funnn especially ippin — he so reminds me of darling volk — kamal macam enrique inglesias kot dowhhh, aeyo macam cedric the entertainer, and biggy was the dance partner alias protègè haha i had sooo much fun with him!

the most memorable would be that song yang like an anthem for the fgk — i know you want me, you know i want cha, i know you want me-e-e, you know i want cha (lagu sape tu?) and it goes uno-dos-tres-quatro! — masa tu memang best gileee especially part kira-kira and sebut quatro mesti nak menjerit but can never top bila BEP’s i gotta feeling wouuu huuu ~ sangat. sangat. sangat. wouuu huuu lah! the deejay will silent the wou-hu part and kitorang clubbers ni yang layankan. niiice — tepuk tangan semuaaa.

anysz, nurlin, roha and cordee were singles, menari sesama sendiri and buat signs and muka- muka bila ade makhluk-makhluk asing mencelah — the girls were comical besides being naturally gorgeous. anysz and cordee is always berentap and of kross anysz takkan kalah punyaaa — bagi lagi, bagi lagi, hanj— yu! muizz sangat sporting melayan and joining us. sala macam dancing queen dowh, he’s a real darling! aneeza taught me how to grind ‘em good gils her skill sangat powerrr — kau hentammm je, suessy! OMG i was so happeee my girls totally put it in for my favourite activity. are you having fun, suessy? are you having fun? dua tiga kali each of them tanya to make sure aren’t they sooo angelixxx and each and everytime i’m answering, “toootally!”
nurlin: nampak lea kau sangat having fun — great!
aku tak boleh lupa masa tu kenapa eh, aku jauh sikit from biggy and danced with the girls then some random hand tolak aku towards him and it was sala — dengan tangan dan muka tak bersalah buat bodo and sambung menari with nani.

before with biggy i was already delirious, when he came in he was a nice addition to the picture, i had my girls, i was dancing my heart out and dancing the night away, it’s my birthdayyy, tak putus-putus sorang-sorang wishing throughout the night, the boyfriends were a total sport with their girlfriends for moi, met an old friend and had fun talking to, everyone was lovely and superfantastic, best first impressions ever — i. had. fun!

+ + +

+ + +

fighting the demons

around nak almost four a.m. lepas jerit-jerit “one morrre, one morrre!” kat deejay dengan diketuai oleh kamal, kami semua harus pulang. sementara tunggu aneeza ber-PR dengan manager werner’s, ntah random dudes sapesape ni dengan kamera ambik gambar dengan anysz, dengan cordee, dengan aku. sorang satu keeping, tukar-tukar pasangan. ntah lea sesat ke mana-mana gambar tu dibogelkan ke ape atau published kat gadiscomel.com kategori dentally challenged (moi).

nani and sala dah balik dulu sebab sala kebulur and he’s driving up to melaka for a meeting. roha, nurlin, huda and muizz bundled up balik shah alam. moi, cordee, anysz, aneeza and elyas bundled up balik hotel. at first elyas is driving but then tukar to cordee.

so that exit to our hotel, cordee was going somewhat fast. dalam terowong tu, at four am in the morning, kereta beratur macam ade tunggu traffic light. ntah lea, aku antara accurate tak accurate but i was sure i remembered seeing cars lining up macam tunggu traffic light. now when come to think of it again, what happened to those cars lepas kitorang crashed? lantak lea.

cordee driving, elyas on passenger seat. aneeza belakang elyas, anysz kat tengah, aku belakang cordee. elyas jerit, “brake!” aneeza jerit, “brake! brake, cordee, brake!” cordee jerit, “aku dah brake, brake tak makan! brake tak makan!” aku rasa macam dalam a slippery cup yang kau main kat funfair tu, cordee swerved to the left tapi lepas tu dia bawak kereta ke kanan, memang tak sempat, memang crash, aku tak brace for impact, aku tak fikir ape, tapi lepas tu kereta tu crashed the last car on the right lane and that slowed us down before sempat langgar pokok.

aneeza went hysteric, keluar kereta, meroyan. elyas kejarkan aneeza. cordee tak berhenti-henti mintak maaf, aku pujuk cordee to take it easy, and anysz terdiam sebab tulang kering dia langgar the middle compartment, i should think. anysz cakap muka dia sebelah kiri rasa kebas.

and then i started to sebak thanking HIM that we all survived, nothing major. i can’t call mum even though i feel like talking to her. i know she would masked her worrying with her doing an azubirian on the azubirian jr (moi) and lepas tu aku mesti tak boleh keluar rumah seumur hidup. there was no particular someone as in the opposite sex came to mind that i’d want to mengadu to, not even wishing for one but i do need to talk to someone — who cares and matters. so i called up the cashmere mafia-s. they have just arrived at roha’s pad and are settling down to sleep but became unsettling as they heard the news. i promised to update them now and then, and called up nani. no one get in touch with her yet, as cordee was with aneeza and elyas settling whatever with the alfa romeo’s owner and anysz was attentive to the group despite her injury. i informed nani and sala was just about to leave for melaka, dia patah balik and came to the scene. elyas’ friends from the club came over after their supper and so is aneeza’s brother.

i came out of the car and stayed away from it, as later car after car after car skidded and before i knew it one of them could have slammed into aneeza’s with me in it and i was crying hysterically by myself. cordee came to me apologizing, anysz reminded me to buck it up for aneeza since it’s her car in a wreck and aneeza’s brother consoled us. by five a.m. or so, leaving elyas, his friends and aneeza’s brother settling the scene, sala drove us girls back to the hotel.

we arrived at the lobby and i couldn’t care less walking around barefooted, my new birthday/dancing shoes are dirty what with walking around the scene in mud and we all trooped to our room. sala left immediately for melaka. i was somewhat perplexed, not having anything to grip to and was very, very unsettled in the mind. i know what happened and i know it couldn’t be avoided and we were sheer lucky that nothing’s fatal. i was afraid of not being grateful enough but how i wished i could have those melayu keparat babi paria wiped off, who i think took advantage of our condition — who, without a doubt, setup the whole scene in the first place — and simply labelled us as these melayu-melayu mabuk habis kau tu makan duit halal ke, fuckerrr?

elyas and aneeza’s brother later came over to the hotel and update us. aneeza’s brother was too damn hungry and keep complaining the hotel room is hot and i keep telling him to take off the damn jacket. we checked on each other’s injury and pain, talk about the police report tomorrow, and eat the leftover dinner, cake and dunking vanilla coke. i changed clothes, put on the bathrobe to keep warm after someone blasted the air-conditioner and fell asleep.

+ + +

“you have to returned what you say…” — aneeza

it’s almost noon and we received a guest who came back from a marathon or whatever — izary. he commented this and that, asked this and that while we were cleaning up and leaving.

we had brunch at f.a.m. and i ordered nasi goreng london, teringat volk ordered that the last time we had lunch there.

i made my speech/toast. i thanked each and everyone for making it happened, apologized to aneeza for what had happened, and apologizing to everyone for my previous blog entry. at the time i hugged elyas because aku lupa nak hug bila jumpa dia earlier sebab tak sabar-sabar nak clubbing ~

someone asked — but i couldn’t recall who — apa yang buat aku upset sangat on the actual birthday hari tu. i told them how i felt and reasoned it with that i myself was at my own weakness, not really able to create the fun out of myself and only waiting for people to do it for me. and i mentioned how izary stole the show —
moi: he was all talkative, and charming, and everyone loves him —
nani: charming? ahaha!
aneeza: nooo, suessy… you have to returned what you sayyy!
and izary buat-buat innocent and naive aku sepak kang — yes, you! you! you steal my thunder!
izary: i was — i’m so sorry if i was ru-u-u-de!
moi: and you guys semua dah siap bawak izary pegi janggut, and i tak ade pun kat janggut masa tu, i feel sooo left out! semua orang, semua orang masa tu kenal izary, layan izary and he was such an entertainer and charming and ewww, aku rasa sangat sedihhh!
izary: we were there at janggut to discuss about your birthday. i was there and i was wondering, who is this suessy they are talking about… i have not met her yet…

moi: discuss my birthdayyy ~ OMG

izary: yeahhh… and, oh, i was there when they bought you the bag. i followed!
oh, okayyy. suessy senyuuummm.
izary: that was a damn good wifle, anyway. at least you recognized your weakness and let your girlfriends know so that they can help you out.
moi: wifle?
nani: what i feel like expressing.

lepas tu izary asyik cakap dia italian and i said no — italian supposed to have the locklustre of jet black hair and bila dia pakai this straw hat he found in his car, dia tanya ape nationality dia — aku cakap puerto rican.

sekian.

would’ve been nice if farizz was able to join and sam too — i‘m a very busy busy busy man — and fahimi kau turun dari dubai untuk birthday akuuu. hmm, aku tak dapat bayangkan fahimi clubbing but he’d be great with cameras… post mortem — nak ada pro photographer tagging along documenting the prep, the event and the aftermath… would be a good photo album, no? — macam the bridal showers nurlin is having with the WANGERS, they have professional photographer tagging along, tau!

then again, was a great birthday indeed. love!

suessy promotes one of her many favourite intellectualistas

the brillianista strikes again.

i’ll go with my comment of the whole collection as in the FB —

Suessy Suraya Suhaimi | babe, gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous collection — of both the quotes and the design. not too static, hint of colour here and there but relevant enough — i can’t decide which is more, the quote or the design, i guess both are just as mindblowing as the other.

congrats, ♥ , another brilliant work excellently executed
~ m always the biggest fan of these ^-^
Thurs at 13:24

Nazirah Ashari | Suessy: Thank you. Am working on the official blog now. Need more suggestions. Drop it into my inbox. There was this one you gave me, Promises sounded very much like promiscuous. Haven’t got the heart to do it yet.
Thurs at 13:26

Suessy Suraya Suhaimi | because only promiscuous ppl make promises.
they never keep it. so i don’t believe in promises.
it sounds promiscuous to me.

promiscuous ppl — the politicians, the playboys and alike. they never really have us in them.
Thurs at 22:34

if you have your favourite line, tagline or quote, drop it here in the comment section and i’ll relay it to her. it’s fun to be part of it!

nazirah ashari is an aspiring individual who’s a die hard fan of rilo kiley (and more, you can count and argue with her when it comes to music) and dying to meet her contender of the four-shots espresso challenge. she blogs at L I P S T I K R O N A N O D A and lipstikronanoda // THE WRITE SERIES apart from studying, a barista part-timer and a dreamer like moi.

suessy and ebizo are happily parenting gueci — something her new friend thinks that suessy’s being way too freaky about

esok saya akan melihat my first press conference materialize. hidup matiku untuk JL tapi lepas tu JL bagitau dia sendiri pun tak akan materialize di press conference itu — terima kasih jayyy elll -_-”

bila orang lain yang sibuk nak prepare for press conference, aku sangat composed dan cool, sangat chill dan collected, boleh meng-network-kan orang and bagi solutions. time aku, gelabah bagai nak rak, sexual tensions on top of it, and as always, i take the easy way out — makan tak menentu, nescafe 24/7, main taboo macam main kuda. i’m having too much fun i couldn’t care less.

“nasib baik kau pakai macam ni, suraya. seksi. tarik ke bawah sikit… takpelah… kasik bos tengok.”
palehotsss.

sekian tentang kerja.

+ + +

gueci sudah pulang and i’m just too overwhelmed. letih kerja ya amat tapi bila tau balik nanti boleh tengok gueci rasa uplifting terus. hmm, macam ni kot perasaannya bila ade anak. gueci pun identify ebizo sebagai daddynya. moeli berlagak seperti anak remaja, bitchy sepanjang masa.

oh, well, my biological clock can cope with this for the moment.

+ + +

izary yang sentiasa attention seeker itu boleh aja nak jakun tengok gamba ebizo sebagai wallpaper layla.

izary: is this your boyfriend?
moi: hmmm…
izary: what does he do? is he a model?
moi: no… he does… endorsement…
nani and sala: heyyy, congratulation! you dah ade boyfriend! omigod, suessy! i knew it would happened! sape? sape?

lepas tu izary ade hati nak jadi ari gold kat aku bila cordee dah tak nak layan dia. lebih palat bila si farizz pun vouched for him, “because we’re GUYS, suessy!”

izary: you’re so freaky! patut lea boyfriend you japanese!
moi: not freaky — kinky.

+ + +

syok gak main taboo. i get to see farizz who missed my birthday but then lost him to izary — bastards…

anysz memang gila bab meneka. bila nani dapat perkataan gutter, dan nani menggunakan perkataan longkang sebagai pembayang, anysz terus jawab dengan confident dan excited dan perfectpitchingsuaranya — CLEAVAGE!

lepas tu — for moi — nani kelakar nak mampos bila bagi pembayang untuk winston churchill. aku teka benjamin franklin, theodore roosevelt, john adams and george washington. in desperation mengejar masa lepas aku teka semua nama, nani wailed, ” i don’t knowww, he’s one of their friendsss, i should think!”

haha — he‘s one of their friends …

nani: okay, okay, the opposite of losing is —
moi: win!
nani: that’s the beginning of his name!
moi: winston churchill!
nani: yes! next (card)!
farizz: winston churchill is a british lea, nani… not an american.

to which nani sulked… haha, yeah, nani got that part wrong, which is why aku terusss je rattled all american names that i know.

aneeza: suessy lebih tau benda-benda macam ni.
cordee: aku boleh visualize kemenangan bila ade suessy dalam team.

kalah teruk masa tu, lelaki menang against perempuan 18 mata kepada 13 mata. anysz percaya pada feng shui dan menyuruh kitorang bertukar tempat — at first duduk selang-seli lelaki/perempuan sebab nak jaga time dan cards. analisis anysz turned out to be true, di mana selapas kami perempuan berselonggok dan lelaki selonggok, kemenangan diraih hingga 19 mata kepada 7 mata (lelaki).

tapi aku failed dalam maths. aku benci bila izary betul.

dan time tu aku betul-betul praktis flirting on izary. haha.

+ + +

aneeza sangat menyuruh aku tontoni the ugly truth. so i did. lepas download hampir lima belas minggu — don’t ask.

see, perempuan boleh mampu menyukai lelaki itu seadanya walaupun lelaki itu menyukai perempuan itu sepura-puraannya.
see, lelaki tetap terasa challenged and competitive bila lelaki lain dapat the girl yang pada mulanya dia tak nak.
see, perempuan akhirnya come to her senses that she didn’t exactly like the man she is with hundred percent because there’s no love there but she stayed in the relationship anyway for the sake of having a relationship.
see, lelaki sebenarnya pengecut dan penakut when it comes to deciding and verbalizing it, walaupun personalitinya selama ini looked like mereka boleh hidup selagi there’s a girlhole to fuck.
see, perempuan tidak perlu beria sangat nak play the game and follow the rule sebab akhirnya mereka berpura-pura for the sake untuk menawan hati lelaki itu dan pity the girl akan terus hidup dalam kepalsuan unless she eventually make a choice for her own sake.
and see, eventually, lelaki will never know when we faked an orgasm.

haha.

anyways, aku spontaneously burst into (happy) tears at the climax of the movie.
rasa sangat lega that i just have to be myself. letih sebenarnya nak go by the book. persetankan aja.
dan yeahhh, i identified myself as katherine heigl’s character in that movie. haihhh, i believe it was a journey worth taken.

+ + +

pastu, i was browsing through nana mj’s fb and bumped into one of her besties’ wedding album. koleksi gambar-gambar yang sangat fun — that’s what they call candid. and i like the bestie’s fb current profile pix which is one of the wedding photos — sangat komik. i should think selain mempunyai husband yang quirky like that, photographer juga harus memainkan peranan for such an amusing collection. siapa photographer itu, mungkin aku bisa jatuh cinta sama kamu. sekali a femme photographer —

adoyaiii, dah lea aku dengan farsha sekarang pun almost lesbian -_-”
farsha (sangkut dalam traffic jam selepas waktu pejabat, circa 8pm): babe, kau dah mandi?
moi: boleh tak kau jangan tanya aku soalan separa lesbian ni? buat ape kau nak tau?!

— sekarang berbalik kepada bestie nana mj. hm, aku sangat suka sampai aku nak this thought immortalized in my blog. sila lihat gambar di bawah ini. betapa relevantnya seorang lelaki yang punyai sense of humour komikal untuk menceriakan hidup ini.

if you want to be happy, nobody’s going to stop you

i came to pick up this korean drama three brothers on channel 303. the brother who is the police officer came across this girl who was dumped by her boyfriend of five years — the one she took care of while he’s studying to become a public prosecutor. she bought him everything that he needed — clothes, food, a brand new celly. he dumped her when he finished his studies and became the government servant.

i easily relate myself to her, of course. when she called him after they broke up, crying her heart out telling that she’s missing him. time tu lea tak berhenti-henti hati kau menjerit panggilkan boyfriend lama kau — bius paling mujarab tapi mati cepat. i watched as the girl made the phone calls, menangis tak berhenti, panggilkan the asshole of a boyfriend — masa ni memang tak ade orang lain yang kau nakkan kecuali si keparat itu. even then bila dia kembali layankan kau pun kamu masih tak berapa happy sebenarnya. dirundung kerisauan teramat sebab dia bukan yang dulu lagi — hmm, mana pergi dia yang dulu tu kan?

perempuan tu kena cemuh terlalu obsess, terlampau sensitif. asyik-asyik nak ugut break up sampai boyfriend dia pun naik turn off. hmm… okay.

tiap kali the police officer brother bumped into this girl mesti the girl tu tengah meroyan rayukan boyfriend lama dia sampai her cookie terjatuh. cookie as in the breast padding, the girl’s (desperate) breast illusion (padding) — according to the makcik gerai mi tempat the girl broke up dengan boyfriend dia (the girl suruh the boyfriend tanggal every piece of cloth that she bought for him which he was wearing at the time) — maka the police officer brother ni tukang kutip cookie pompuan tu each time pompuan tu dah almost tak bernafas menangis mabuk tak hengat ape kecuali being desperate wanting to go back to those times she was happy — with the asshole.

girl: mr. officer, does it hurt being hit by a bullet?
police officer bro: — — —
girl: i’m sure it hurts. can you help me erase my memory? i’m sure i will be happy again when all my memory is erased. i don’t want to remember anything ~

hm, i’m depressed again. tapi suara dalam diri hentak-hentak kata, “i. am. not. depressed! i don’t want to go back there! i. AM. NOT. depressed!” aku masih pandang belakang, tapi aku tak mahu berada dalam keadaan emosi begitu. sangat turbulence, dowh. i’ve had enough. i want to be happy — walaupun sakit like being hit by a bullet.

convince me otherwise if you may

the comment function at always the tone of surprise is officially enabled and opened to all. be nice.

gravity hasn’t called. i just dropped by.

“always the tone of surprise” is being abandoned

until further notice

to be expected when abandoned period ceased —

• the detailed story of why blair’s bridesmaids are worthy of a balenciaga pair (and more!)
• the new kit in town the haus
• admitting on the line, “… walau jalan terus, harus pandang belakang” when she rediscovered too phat’s family wanna battle recently and longing for the walk with me track.
• her (long and detailed) comment on the home-wreckers who think that they are rightfully doing a favour in everybody’s relationships that they are involved with — although she has been wanting to stop blogging about men unless he’s a celebrity like joe flizzow or ebizo ichikawa xi.
• pictures that goes along with the entries (maybe)
• bonus: she may start opening up for voluntary, sincere, poignant, sarcastic, provoking, overwhelmed, amusing, challenging, sexy and everywhere-along-the-line comments for attos. maybe. she’s trying to fight ‘em demons.

signing off,
suessyebizoichikawaxi

jika kau tahu ini yang kau mahu
mengapa ragu tidak perlu malu
dengarkan bisikan dan suara hati
kerna malam ini cinta kita kan abadi
usah risaukan cerita dulu-dulu
kita sampai sahaja usah terburu-buru
walau mata memandang dari setiap penjuru
biarkan sahaja mereka cemburu

~ wouhuu, i <3 u, joe flizzow!

the who is updated.

i want you so bad it’s my only wish

boo, i spent my time just thinkin’thinkin’thinkin bout you
every single day yes, i’m really missin’missin’ you
and all those things we use to-use to-use to do
hey babe, wuz up, it used to be just me and you
boo, i traveled round the world and even sailed the seven seas
across the universe i go to other galaxies
just tell me where you want, just tell me where you wanna to meet
i navigate myself myself to take me where you be
cause babe i want, i, i, i want you right now
i traveled uptown-town i traveled downtown
i wanna to have you around-round like every single day
i love you alway-way, i’ll meet you halfway
let’s walk the bridge, to the other side
just you and i
i will fly, i’ll fly the skies, for you and i
i will try, until i die, for you and i
can you meet me half way, right at the borderline
that’s where i’m gonna wait, for you
i’ll be lookin out, night and day
took my heart to the limit, and this is where i’ll stay
i can’t go any further than this

lehry king: welcome to the show, blair. happpy belated birthday!

queen b: thank you.

lehry king: so you turned 26, yes?

queen b: yup!

lehry king: what are you looking forward to now that you are 26?

queen b: i’m looking forward to my next birthday party with my girlfriends… my bridesmaids as i would like to refer to on this particular clique… if i lived long enough.

lehry king: bridesmaids? are you getting married any time soon?

queen b: no, i don’t even have a boyfriend. i’m still very single. it’s just that i’m 26 now, not 16, so i have the wedding plans ready. the groom can come along and put himself in place later.

lehry king: okay… so your bridesmaids threw you a party? we heard that they did that for you, despite that you were very upset with them on the actual birthday.

queen b: yeahhh… they threw the wickest belated birthday suprise party ever. i was elated… i am still elated. they are… the fuckeristas… i got fucked up by them. totally.

lehry king: where? where did you get fucked? i’m referring anatomically-fucked-where, right now, okay.

queen b: fucked in the mind, lehry… it was mind blowing… the distance they go for to celebrate my birthday… it was the. best. party. ever!

lehry king: after the surprise, there was dinner, and then you guys went to the club… how was it?

queen b: it was like something out of BEP’s i gotta feeling video. it was fu-u-u-nnn all the way. except that there’s no fergie prancing around in lingerie and feather boa. else, the guys would only wanna dance with her… dammit, haha!

lehry king: a little birdie told me that you danced with someone and only that someone that night.

queen b: i danced with everyone. i danced with my girls mostly and just a few nanoseconds with some of the guys… each of them… other than that, i just danced. i don’t care.

lehry king: but more with this particular someone.

queen b: yeahhh, i guess… i did.

lehry king: so is there anything going on between the two of you?

queen b: nothing, we just dance.

lehry king: is he a prospect?

queen b: i don’t know…i have yet to do a BC on him.

lehry king: a BC?

queen b: background check.

lehry king: oh… you need to do that…? why would you need to do that?

queen b: i guess i’m just still monogamous all the way… you know… i gotta know that if he’s actually un-single… i need to at least know. it’s my comfort level.

lehry king: but they say when everybody‘s at the club, everyone‘s single. and you were only dancing with him. there’s nothing more… is there?

queen b: no… but, even though they say when in the club, everyone is single, i don’t know whether i will ever get used to that rule or not. i hate the unnecessary troubles of catfights and name calling… in the end, it’s really the dude who is the asshole and we girls just wasting our time.

lehry king: so you don’t want to waste your time?

queen b: not in this department… it will only go round and round. i just want to have a totally good time. and he was there, he was a sport. still, i don’t know whether i would turned into a vincent chase or not — one who just have fun, yadayada, one gal after another. i believe i’m always an eric murphy at heart when it comes to relationship.

lehry king: eric murphy goes back to sloan and get back together. would it be the same with you and tagg?

queen b: i don’t think about tagg the way eric murphy thinks about sloan on the possibilities of getting back together. i’m eric murphy… in the sense that i-want-a-relationship, i don’t want to do any randoms.

lehry king: in your recent blog entry, you stated that you will only respond to someone who looks like ebizo ichikawa xi these days, because you’ve had enough of men. does he (the one you danced with) looked like one?

queen b: haha… well, we clicked, that’s all. he was a sport, a friend. i just met him. so it is just that.

lehry king: okay. let’s talk about the accident after the club when you guys were heading back to the hotel

queen b: yeahhh… the accident was… another mind-blowing unfortunate event.

lehry king: what happened?

queen b: isla drove somewhat fast that night… but weirdly enough, when we got to the exit and realized there were cars lining up in the tunnel — at four-thirty a.m. — too late, she slammed on the brakes, and there was no sound at all.

lehry king: no sound?

queen b: yeah. no skidding sound when you slammed on your breaks, you know? it was like being in a silent slippery cup. isla swerved the car to the left but thinks it’s better to go to the right so we hit the last car in the queue — it was an alfa romeo — and with that impact, it slowed our car down and we stopped like, just a few metres from the tree.

lehry king: else it could’ve been fatal.

queen b: it could’ve been, if we hit the tree, yeah. hazel was in the middle of the backseat. we didn’t put on our seat belts.

lehry king: that was hazardous.

queen b: totally.

lehry king: what were you feeling at the time?

queen b: at first i was, telling isla and hazel to calmed down. isla panicked and keep apologizing, jess went hysterics because it’s her car… eric get her to calmed down… and hazel got hit on the face and her right leg, the tibia part… i think it hit the middle compartment… and then i came to like… senses? i cried because i was so scared what if one of us were gone. i keep crying and didn’t want to stay in the car even though they told me to because after us, there were cars after cars sliding on that slippery road. i don’t want to be in the car and get slammed by the next car coming.

lehry king: slippery? it was raining that night, right?

queen b: yeah. and they put oil on the road.

lehry king: they?

queen b: yup. the keparats babi melayu paria. it’s after raya, you know, dah banyak pakai duit so now they need to cari duit. nelly said, to offer solutions, they create problems. jess’ bro almost didn’t get away when he explained to me — within the keparatsbabimelayuparias’ hearing — that “diorang letak minyak atas jalan…” and they pounced on jess’ bro, “jangan nak suka-suka cakap letak minyak… kau tu mabuk, mabuk jugak… jangan sampai mabuk macam paria…”. jess got madder and shot back, “yang kau nak terasa, kenapa, kau ke letak minyak?”… it took the whole of us to coaxed jess to stop talking back to them and apologize to the fuckers profusely but them assholes just keep provoking us, you know? they never stopped psycho-ing us. and not one of us were drunk, at all, that night. none of us. so fuck them.

lehry king: but it was like a message from the Up There also, wasn’t it?

queen b: yeahhh… it was.

lehry king: so right now it’s reflecting time?

queen b: yeah. the fact that we survived. we were all okay except for minor bumps and bruises. other than that, yeah. it’s time to reflect.

good things did come to S in the form of astronomical surprises.

H came to picked S from her haus, and drove to their playground hotel where the rest of S’ appointed bridesmaids waited with the most wicked belated birthday surprise party programme for S. when H opened the door to the hotel room for S, the bridesmaids presented S a roses-petals path for her to walked through, a strawberry cheese and walnuts cake, balloons all over the floor and vases of white, coral and pink roses all around the room. a charles & keith paper bag is propped on the bed sprinkled with petals of roses where a new birkin awaits, a pair of peach satin dancing heels from R, and a pair of studs earrings from H. after the small ceremony, the entourage went for dinner at S’ favourite japanese pasta restaurant nearby her playground and later trooped together to the club where they were joined by the boyfies and more new friends for S.

life has been a bed of roses for S lately – literally speaking.

this is my birthday — i don’t want any strangers

once upon a time there was a queen who loves to attend parties and celebrates birthdays. when the queen turned another year older, she was crying to her handmaidens, a new friend, and eventually, to the queen mother.

+ in the voice of a la gossip girl +

good morning always the tone of surprise readers. they say one good deeds deserves another. but why is it sometimes a thousand deeds are redeemed into one well of a tears? the world could be cruel sometimes. and if our queen blair stayed mum about what happened to her recently, good things will come — that’s what they say too (who’s these they people anyways?).
but she always blogs to vent out her feelings. only this time she couldn’t exactly write out the whole truth, so she wrote one based inspired on from it. and because our queen b loves storytelling, she tells this in the most entertaining, sarcastic and menacing way.

there you go readers, discretion is advised.

ah, birthdays. not everyone can be raja sehari every year, but you do get a full twenty-four hours a day each year when it is all about you — else, why would 50 cent wrote in da club (remember …go shorty/ it‘s your birthday/ we‘re gonna party like it‘s your birthday)? this is what our queen b is looking forward to, to the point that she has sent out gentle reminders to everyone and chanting it during her recent lunch with sid and nina (not sid and nancy, and this nina is never in love with sid, vice versa). i’m happy to report that both survived the uneventful lunch and are doing well.

the first person who wished blair via text was hazel. with a prompt good night wish. in one same para. needless to say one same text. it’s the truth universally acknowledge, that you don’t even remind the birthday person about bedtime — you tell them to parrrrtayyyy. but there you go. as blair texted thank you to hazel, it’s none other than her ex-boyfriend tagg who’s next and wished her a very solemn birthday text.

morning came and queen blair had to attend to her duties. usually blair would wake up and head straight to the bathroom before making her bed. after a special spotcheck, the queen mother told blair to made up her bed before she stepped in for a shower. blair abide to the queen mother and then only she went to cleanse herself. once finished, she walked into her closed door bedroom and discover a wonderful surprise. queen mother had filled up her room with four vases of roses and scattered petals of them on her bed. by each vase, a small card with more birthday wishes from each of her family members is propped. blair was too misty with tears for a proper speech.

blair went for lunch with her colleagues, wanda and farsha at a friend’s cafè. farsha is yearrrsss younger than blair but is one of the voices of reason to blair when she needed some sense to be talked into. wanda has just finished her maternity leave and according to blair’s mother, “oh, cantik orangnya.” when blair was fishing for her 50 note to pay her lunch, wanda announced that it is her birthday treat for blair and belated birthday treat for farsha. blair was blushing furiously — this is a someone whom she had finally met face-to-face (they were already friends on facebook) and being awfully nice to her. wanda has even told farsha a day earlier before she came back from maternity leave to specifically asked blair to join them for lunch.

the three bonded and amused each other with stories of travels and gossips — simply the easiest way to warm up, haha. it is an unexplained reason of why blair enjoys listening to wanda whenever she started to laugh.

over the afternoon, isla called up blair at the office. isla asked when will blair be coming home, and invited her to joined the rest for drinks at the neighbourhood diner. blair said she will joined them and asked who will picked her up. isla said jess will picked her up. blair wonders if jess is not working because it will defeat the purpose of jess (who worked in the neighbourhood) to come to blair’s office and then go back to the neighbourhood diner. when she reasoned this with jess (blair was not aware that jess has not been in the office and that she was around the corner at blair’s office), jess simply told blair to zip it and just stayed at athe office until jess came to pick up blair. err, hello… this is the birthday girl, speak a little less annoyed and be nicer to the birthday girl? blair was taken aback but she simply comply and already mentally telling herself to. not. expect. anything.

jess arrived with eric at blair’s office. blair was gushing on jess’ new hair colour and it was the exact shade blair had in mind when jess told her she advance-coloured her hair for the (now cancelled) beyoncè’s concert. along the ride to another place (turned out isla gave wrong info or whatever, they are not heading to the neighbourhood diner), jess and eric was bickering with each other a la ron and hermione. they finally arrived to a clubhaus. when they reached there, blair saw a birthday party — only that it is not hers. she was walking from one end to the other end of the club (and repeat), tailing after jess and eric. poor blair, she was such a pitious sight. as jess and eric was talking like new money newlyweds about the benefits of the clubhaus’ membership, blair was simply offering her thoughts and supporting ideas. in blair’s whirring mind, she is trying hard to put the pieces together — only that she is is still trying to figure out the first piece. more importantly, where are the other BFFs?

from bits and pieces, blair heard jess and eric were trying to get through isla, nelly and hazel. at the same time blair (silently) worked out with eric in accomodating jess’ demands of choosing the best table by the pool to sit. finally settling to one, nelly arrived with boyfie sean, and isla. and another new guy — ian. nelly and sean brought towels with them. and their swimsuits. blair was secretly weirded out — swimming, now? isla was on the phone. ian has already changed to his trunks and completely showered — all geared to jumped into the pool at a moment’s notice to start his routine laps in maintaining his six packs.

before ian took a dive, isla intentionally threw an exaggerated introduction between ian and blair. ian is pretty good-looking and almost closely described to what blair has in mind for the perfect mr chuck bass but she is yet to get to know him. in addition, ian seems more focused on his laps rather than getting to know blair. blair will not let such thing deflated her already deflating state and starts to hummed keri hilson’s knock you down. to herself.

so nelly, sean and ian jumped into the pool and do their laps. the other four sat at the table, scanning menu. that’s the only thing blair found concrete to do — she’s hungry also, so it makes sense to order food, right? blair asked of hazel towards everyone with no concrete answer returned. eventually blair received a call from hazel — who wanted to speak to isla. because isla was glued to hers with this particular guy who’s worshipping her. blair passed the phone to isla and sat back. everyone seemed in tune with each other except our queen b who is the only one tuned out. food arrived and it’s the next concrete thing for blair to do — eat.

blair later learnt that hazel doesn’t have a ride because freddy borrowed her car and accordingly, freddy is in one of his twister typhoon moods. always the mithalic girlfriend, hazel is stuck at her home, and no one can picked her up because everyone is already at the clubhaus. blair was a little bit frustrated that freddy chose futsal over his entourage’s buddy’s birthday but she would be more devastated if hazel won’t turned up. the evening is seriously going downhill for blair — she is still at loss as to what is coming next and not grasping the whole picture. she is still pretty perplexed as to why are they or especially she, coming to the clubhaus, walked here and there, listening to jess and eric evaluating membership rates and the bizarre thing that nelly, sean and this new guy ian arrived with towels and swimsuits.

the three athletes returned to the table 5 pounds lighter and famished to restore back the missing 5 pounds. the whole lot sat down to eat and the plates go round sharing bites. sure, blair did talked and was given ample minimum attention to boast about what her mother did for her the morning earlier. the second most thing she did was talking to eric, because eric sat next to her right. other than that, blair listened to the stories of isla’s skin operation cost and made-up after effects by the group without blair able to contribute any laughable thoughts, suffering with the public display of affection on her left (nelly and sean), stories of clubbing, dancing on the podium and dance-fan-worshipping and of whosoever kirk, anna, and fran that blair had never known of, wasn’t there, wasn’t in the scene, and wasn’t invited. i mean like, hello… there’s the birthday girl but she’s just sitting there, without a boyfriend to fuss over her and she is stuffing herself with her chicken listening to you gossipping about whomsoever or wheresoever that she was not a part of.

turned out also that blair was the only one who first met ian as well. everybody at the table seems to know ian and ian knows everyone. except blair. they were all talking to each other sharing jokes and such and blair really felt left out. adding salt to injury, isla trying to get ian and blair warming up earlier was a huge mistake since it was obvious that ian is hitting on isla instead of the birthday girl. there you go blair, since you’re so perplexed, perhaps you needed a slap-in-the face instead. hope it helped!

hazel arrived solemnly, and alone. she wished blair happy birthday and sat down. blair asked if she would like to order anything since everyone has almost finished eating. hazel declined and blair gets to repeat the same story she has already told everyone, boasting and stretching truth to breaking point because she desperately wants attention. blair does not have a boyfriend to pay attention to, discuss club fees, worshipping her, arguing about attending a game or a birthday, or motivate her to swim another five laps. blair is all alone except for joe flizzow’s crooning call me in her mp3. this is her birthday and what the hell is when ian is not amusing and cracking jokes with everyone (except blair, that is), he’s reading a self-help book with his legs propped up to his chair, as if he’s on a vacation? “this is my birthday, i don’t want any stranger reading books!” blair hissed to eric, apparently the only one who really pays attention to her whenever she speaks to him — he is the assigned photographer anyways.

then blair heard a faint birthday song coming from nelly and sean who disappeared for a while to get blair’s birthday cake. it must have been the most lowest decibles birthday song from the ‘S Club 7′ ever heard. blair at the time, does not know whether she’s going to smile or to cry. sean put up the candles and blair remembering that the candles melt into the cake before she could even blew it off as the girls were busy choregraphing themselves to pose behind blair. isla mentioned that they were not warming up enough in their shots with blair, and hazel said it out loud, “hey, i at least did this pose (she reenacted it) towards blair, and you guys did what?” way to go hazel, a nice comment to be heard out loud by the birthday girl. but i gotta say, blair is always a blair and not a serena… her poses seemed distant and cold anyways… she’s not bonding with the rest. there’s no chemistry at all! hmm… and i’m wondering why…

later then the girls told the guys to take pictures with blair, and asked sean and ian to looked like strippers — they didn’t put on their shirt ever since the swim so it was so-called the perfect backdrop that they celebrated blair’s birthday at a pool with not one, but two strippers! yeayyy, blair, it must have been the sexiest birthday party ever for ya! after the whole minimal attention showered on blair during the photoshoot since, again, ian amused and stole the light from our birthday girl as he posed some sexual innuendos with sean — blair was thinking of the next concrete thing to do. okay, cut the cake. go, birthday girl, cut out the cake. no, don’t only cut the cake just for the sake of the photo op, cut out the cake for everyone. yes, everyone. because this is a special kind of birthday party — the self service kind.

as blair enjoyed her piece of birthday cake, nelly suggested putting the mud cakes on their teeth, grinned, and take pictures. blair is offended by the idea and said a flat no to it. she is already dentally challenged, and she does not need those crumbs highlighting it. the girls urged blair to do it as they are quite taken in with the idea. again, blair adamantly said no, because she is already miserable. she does not need pictures of those uploaded in her facebook — she is hardly there in the pictures anyways, she is either blurred or not smiling or simply the carl zeiss’ lens failed to capture the joy of being a birthday girl. three guesses why, haha! eventually, the majority wins and went ahead with mud on their teeth for a very memorable photo op at a birthday without the birthday girl. way to go, babes — doing something that the birthday girl doesn’t like to do. is that selfish or what? i know for sure blair went away from the table as the boys took the girls’ picture. she went to the toilet. to cry? no, she is only checking her teeth to make sure that there are no chocolate crumbs stuck in between. perhaps blair would still like to take some more pictures. maybe. not.

after awhile, the lot decided to call it a day. everyone filed at the counter and this has gotta be the best bomb ever. blair understood it perfectly and even more than that, that the girls have a very, very, very restrained budget. before eid, the girls’ seamstress were unable to get their baju kurung done hence they had to forked out additional fund to buy emergency baju kurung. then there’s the openhauses here and there, money burned on the gas and toll. they have already spent their money on the now-already-as-good-as-cancelled beyoncè’s concert and even bought an additional ticket for blair. they have the effort to gather together and bought a cake for blair. blair’s dinner costs under twenty. but guess the fucking what.

if blair was interviewed on E! at the red carpet and ryan seacrest happened to smell of the flopped birthday blair gets from her BFFs, i’m sure his question would be, subtlely: what was the last saddest thing that has happened to you? because ryan seacrest would know it perfectly well that blair couldn’t resist to answer, “i had to pay for my own birthday dinner.”

yes always the tone of surprise readers, blair paid for her own birthday dinner. everyone was filing to pay for their meals and blair was no exception. it would be hidetoshi nakata and ebizo ichikawa the eleventh fighting over blair first before blair is asking or even pretending to wait for her BFFs to pay for her dinner. nope, nobody stopped her because nelly and sean went to return their towels, hazel ranting about beyoncè’s not-gonna-happen concert, and ian asking isla if she would like to hitch a ride with him. so again, there you go, blair carrying the leftover cakes, paid for her birthday dinner and ordered a coke to keep her sane.

thank god there was jizzow repetitively singing call me directly to blair’s miserable ears and tagg texting blair now and then, asking updates about how’s her birthday going so far. i bet it was painful for blair to update tagg, but at least tagg made it all about her.

the next day, blair couldn’t contained it to herself so she called up renee to do some reality check in case blair has turned into the ghastly fasha sandha for not being thankful enough. renee was quick to say, “be patient, be patient, please do! something good wil happen to you, blair, i’m sure. i promise. i can’t say anymore because then things will be revealed, but good things will happen. you have to believe that in me.” and that only made blair cried harder at the emergency stairs of her office building.

would there be good things happening to blair really soon as renee promised? how will the consequences be like when blair uploaded in facebook the birthday photos she had with roses, colleagues and family, missing out this birthday-by-the-pool? will her BFFs noticed and apologized, or will they noticed and think that blair was being… just blair? i know not what is up HIS Sleeves, but i hope blair could weathered any wrath. but we all do know, there’s no blogwrath like a blair’s blogwrath… but tagg did survive it and became the loyal court jester for our queen on her very special day.

until then, xoxo
gossip girl

p/s: ebizo would like to extend his thanks after his hearty shoutout pix on blair’s facebook about her birthday towards everyone who wished her. domoarigatokozaimasss!