above: general luesi victoria penguini (r) and nucomer gueci gabrielle bijou (l) (almost) meets at the turning point. general penguini seems eager to starts the confrontation while nucomer gueci just couldn’t give a damn.

C(ats)N(us)N(etwork) reports —

general penguini has even sent her minions, namely sophie sophia buckee and monti augustus sengal to attack kenya kanye west here, there and everywhere — and at times, the general turun padang herself to drive refugee west out of the haus.

moeli nanae gatsubi is being sweden as long as she is being fed off the plate of her sponsor.

todd tod toddee and peru sveltlano orahn-go are still away on their espionage mission and only returns when their food supply ran out or their foster family is away.

shopping for labels, shopping for love
manolo and louis — it’s all i’m thinking of

already know what my addiction is
i be looking for labels, i ain’t looking for love
i shop for purses while i walk out the door

don’t cry — buy a bag and get over it

and — i’m not concerned with all the politics
it’s a lot of men i know i could find another
oughta know that i’m always happy
when i walk out the store, store
i know i might come off as negative
i be looking for labels, i ain’t looking for love
relationships are often so hard to tame
a prada dress has never broken my heart before
and — ballin’s something that i’m fed up with
imma do the damn thing, watch me do the damn thing

cause i knowww — that my credit card will help me put out the flames, flames

gucci, fendi, prada purses, purchasing them finer things
men they come a dime a dozen, just give me them diamond rings
i’m into a lot of bling, cadallic, chanel and coach — fellas boast!
but they can’t really handle my female approach
buying things is hard to say rocking christian audigier,
manolo, polo, taking photos in my cartier
so we can’t go all the way, i know you might hate it but
i’m a shop for labels while them ladies lay and wait for love
i’m guessing supercalifragi-sexy,
nothing to be playing with
i love him, hate him, kiss him,
just i’m trying to walk a mile in my kicks

love’s like a runway but which one do i love mooore?
no emotional baggage, just replace it with dior
love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing forrr?
let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more
1! 2! 1, 2, 3, 4! turn the lights on!

+ + +

work has been krazee but i’m loving the rush. i admit i miss my boss when she was on maternity leave to the point i honestly looked forward for her return. i guess some of you would say that i am supercrazy to be loving my boss — i thank HIM for the blessings of meeting me with wonderful bosses, so far. even if she is being a very mean miranda priestley when she feels like it, what the hell, she is the boss anyways. so far miss ai has been pretty supa-supportive and galpal-ish but she is stillstillstill and alwayyysss the boss like i worship-the-ground-she-walks that sort of thing.

and despite the rush and whatnot, miss ai is inspiring in the sense that she’s always dressy and classy like that — a constant reminder for moi to always appear presentable because we’ll never know when lightning would strike in the form of an ebizo ichikawa lookalike who’s ultra rich harta halal dunia akhirat and has his own G5 that he can pilot in case of catatostrophes like 2012, and he adores and loves me to the point he worships-the-ground-i-walk ~ aamiiin.

+ + +

semalam tea with the glam couple farizz and anysz di f.a.m. — glam, you, glam-m-m, we were oogling at our footballers!

“why am i seeing all these bald guys, lately… and lots of them!” i asked to the table. no, they are not the footballers. they are the people coming to eat at f.a.m. who are wayyy gorgeouser and richeser to the point that their hotness factor is you keep dropping it like snoop dogg tells you so with pharrell williams.

farizz laughed, “dah itu taste engkau sekarang.”

there was this one particular, who came with his girlfriend wearing roxy jeans splattered across her non-existent bum. i couldn’t size him up in the sense of wealth because he wears these pair of asics, and, sorry i only tolerate them when takuya kimura being sponsored with those in engine. and he dopods. not blackberry. or even an iphone that i could still tolerate. blackberry lea baru powerrr, bang. baru ari gold.

then again, he’s short in the sense that short (enough for me) as a guy and hm, dia maybe nampak sekeping like a fully-clothed andre 3000 but he may not be that andre 3000 bicep-ish at all to bite on.

+ + +

classy ladies (like moi as according to izary — hey, it’s on his 6-packs FB wall, what can i say) should not say fuck, fuckerrr, fucking or fcuk even if you could pronounce the last one.

say friggin‘. or effin‘.

be brit for this one time even though you’re a sworn new yorker.

+ + +

know how i never like akon? but i love david guetta. masa first hitz.fm announced the song sexy bitch, i dengar nama akon terus switched channel even though i heart guetta. then aneeza pasang in her omnia. masih tak layan. walaupun beat best.

but semalam, i picked up the beat at some random radio and i realized, shoot, it‘s guetta and akon.

sekarang ini, dengar ulang-ulang — ya, telah saya download =p — selang seli dengan eurythmics’ sweet dreams. i’m in da clubbb with my snuggie hoodie ooh imma feeling sooo badass ~

gueci tried to type her daddy’s name. hence, the title.

actually it’s just gueci stepping on the keypads sesuka hati

haiii-yahhh dahdee ~

i’m looking for a gorgeous maxi dress to wear at the beach. online semuanya mahal-mahal kurasakan, nak pre-order yang murahan mana sempat within these four weeks left. i thought reject shop wouldn’t be such  a bad idea.

haizzz… be careful what you wish for. tau-tau aku dah tercegat di situ. tanpa nawaitu langsung nak sampai situ, -_-”
dah berkurun siot tak turun situ. f.o.s pun dah lama tak jejak.

eventually, it’s this black derek heart snug fit hoodie with PEACE at the front and peace logo at the back — timeless, i tell you, timeless! it‘s freakin‘ très superchic to moi ^o^ — and a black with colourful studs galore wearereplay jacket hoodie — love at first sight. justified purchasing — and two grey items mum found. first it’s this snug fit long sleeve collar top by this beverly hills whatever — when it‘s bh, and polo tee, there‘s always the horsie and the jockey — that she loves so much on moi, and a gorgeous babydoll straightcut grey tunic, \^o^/

dalam kepala asyik fikir ’bout i just got those new stuffs from bandung. it’s always like this, no? when you never — i mean, never, not the least — thought of shopping, tau-tau you dah asked your mum to swipe the card which surprisingly she agreed and you jalan sejauh mungkin dari kaunter sebab tak sanggup nak dengar total amount, -_-”

oh tak, ai tak nampak any maxi dress for sale kat reject shop itu. nggak.

+ + +

i’m filling up the room w kimutaku’s voice where he played the sengal tv-shopping-freak and friggin’ curious public prosecutor kuryu kohei in hero the movie. gorgeous-wise: terlampau. he’s always in checkered shirts, though.

and to be amused by how comic his work-and-maybe-love relationship with miyama-san. totally sengal dua-dua ekor ni.

goodness, i miss its soundtrack. and the rest of the staffs’ spirit of muafakat and setiakawan. sengal dan sengal. extra sengal.

thank you, gravity. suessy is now in mourning.

okayyy, i’ve always knew that this day would come.

cheers!

gatdem, sakitnya dowh. jatuh cinta betul rupanya… hm. *sicko*

anyways, mari celebrate a la satonaka halu, the miracle-never-sinking-aircraft-carrier, di mana akhirnya dia berjaya menangis kerana cinta — finally, i‘m able to grow up into an adult today.
aku perlukan a tomonori ikegami yang menjadi emcee dengan ayat pembuka, “the pain of love will turn people of the world into poets and singers.” — baka! — untuk halu belting out namida no request by the checkers.

as for me, the usual order — baek ji young’s like being hit by a bullet (one more! one more!). takde lagu lain. itu yang paling best! and ryo yoshimata’s goodbye bridge from the soundtrack of pride where kimutaku plays the playboy character, satonaka halu.

oui, satonaka halu and playboy, described as above.

~ i'm great, ♥

+ + +

mum went to bandung and she couldn’t stop raving about it. pada mulanya dia dengan penuh ego tak mahu shopping. nak rehat-rehat, jalan-jalan aja. sekali dia yang culture shock. first day duduk sana, duit dah habis. pastu swipe card je lah. aku dapat ferragamo, bèbè dan guess. dapat the kebaya hitam untuk kain-kain batik kebaya yang jarang dipakai sebab akhirnya kain skirt kamdar tu jugak yang menang. bila nak hantar kain kebaya hitam ke shanny kurang pasti — kain yang cordee belikan kat bandung tu pun tak hantar lagi.

duit tengah kureng. tapi vesper dah dapat bateri baru, yeayyy!

also, untuk melepaskan sesalan di hati, mum bercerita pasal baju-baju yang dia rasa kalau aku pakai cantik tapi dia tak beli sebab (a) takut aku tak suka, atau (b) tak cukup duit sebab salah kira kadar tukaran matawang asing.

+ + +

kemungkinan ada satu kenduri kahwin akan datang yang most likely akan aku make a point to attend. tanpa sebarang perasaan tersirat, aku nak bawak izary. because bickering with him throughout the whole ride, event, and coming home singgah the curve main taboo will take any anxiety away, ^-^.

i could bring along pharhunt, but he’s taken. i don’t do guys who are not officially single anymore, even to attend weddings without strings attached — because i’m just strict like that. until i brought you to meet my fgk-s and cm-s, we are blissfully single.

+ + +

i don’t know whatssa matter with google chrome but it totally is not working out with wordpress. i am currently using firefox to blogged and had to leave my oscar de la renta-themed chrome only to facebooking and yahoo mail.

oui, i don’t use gmail because i can’t create folders in them. or i actually can but i just don‘t know?

hopeless  -_-”

+ + +

it’s been awhile that we hangout at al-fariz maju. we as in moi and anysz and farizz. atau that kitorang bertiga hangout mana-manalah bila tak dijumpai di janggut. tocarn joined us, along with this guy, azri. farizz disclosed that tocarn is, in fact, a die-hard fan of twilight.

“you can call me edward…” said tocarn. dengan selamba. dan bangga.
OMG. ai don’t see yu so fair now… your lips also not red?
tocarn: now at night… kalau waktu siang tu, bersinar-sinar keputihan kulit ai, bibir pun merahhh!

when anysz was discussing about video conferencing setup with azri and tocarn and farizz, i busied myself watching mirrors on starmovie. i never wanted to sit through that kind of movie tapi bila dah movie tu nak sampai climax, aku layankan je lea sebab i want to know how it ended.

moi: aku benci betul bila hero tu dah beriya fighting for his life, hantu tu jugak yang menang.
azri: dah nama cerita tu mirrors (it’s the obvious ending).

despite appearance, azri is another azizul (aneeza’s brother). he knows how to pronounce emmanuelle chriqui’s last name properly and clarified her asal-usul, both of us reminisced hong kong movies such as young and dangerous, infernal affairs, and the japanese movie battle royale — the two beranganperasan i‘m-dean-winchester and i‘m-edward-cullen tak tau pun kewujudan battle royale, like, hello! — and we had fun laughing about this korean movie, volcano high.

but for the trio, none ever heard of crows zero. hm, yeah, masa ni aku teringat beck and his last week’s obsession. aku pun tak boleh nak discuss about the movie any further sebab farizz tak nak bagi password wi-fi al-fariz maju kat azri maka sukar untuk azri nak buat rujukan kat youtube.

next after mirrors, starmovie tayang babylon a.d..
moi: farizz, takde kawan-kawan stewards kau yang macam vin diesel?
anysz: oh, kau nak yang botak yea sekarang, suessy?
moi: (masa ni teringat ebizo ichikawa) *nods*
farizz: izary, macam mana, suessy? why not him?
moi: nooo, both of our egos are too big for each other.

+ + +

gueci and luesi is at war — territorial dispute.

also, luesi sudah ade a third name. luesi victoria penguini. sebab dia gemuk macam penguin.

moeli sangat oblivious tentang kepincangan situasi ini. dia tak ade hal selagi benefits dia di atas riba aku tak dikacau especially time aku tengah makan.

happiness

victory, you’ve got a big, honking sign, in your kitchen, screaming “happiness”.
don’t put crap up on your wall if you don’t believe you deserve it, okay?
— dahlia morales

originally "Exit" by Chow Hon Lam

one wasted princess, she’s crying.
one wasted princess, she’s hitting the same wall again.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s faking yawns to hide her tears.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s sleeping too much.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s out with her heart fighting a war
— but her heart is too weak.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s out shopping
— but came back emptier than before.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s helpless to create the fun out of herself.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s no longer the fearless leader.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she only wants to put on feathered headbands.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s tired of going through this vicious void.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she wishes for a new kind of feeling.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she wishes she could pull the trigger.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she doesn’t know the worth of her life.

one wasted princess, she doesn’t wish to die
— she just wants to stop being hurt.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she finally understands how it feels to choke back tears.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she admires those who braved through loneliness.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she’s aware of the consequences.

one wasted princess, she’s crying again.
one wasted princess, she is witty and she argues
— but she doesn’t possess a single drop of will.

one wasted princess.
it is said that, HE Gives you nothing that you can never cope with
— which means that you can always keep asking favours from HIM

super outdated — original draft dated Oct-26 @ 23:01 — because it’s one tough documentation or i am just too darn lazy these days i only care about partying and gueci

anysz: kau tau tak suessy, all these birthdays ni… we first started it with yours last year!

+ + +

“i need your help…” — huda

huda picked me up around 5pm. she said we are first to make a stop at E to meet this lady yang buat hantaran kahwin. i was a bit tersedih sekejap thinking of the rad times i had there last year for cordee’s birthday. takpelah, let’s ago-go-go.

during the drive huda beria cerita dan bertanya pendapat pasal pilihan rona warna untuk hantaran kahwin. at first it was wayyy weird huda kata dia takde idea, takde masa, takde nak menyempat nak buat research hatta google sekali pun, maka dia memerlukan pendapat aku. nak ikutkan nak je aku tanya ulang-ulang, “betul keee kau takde idea, babe?” tapi nanti karang huda sound, “tak nak tolong, sudah lea!” mati aku. dah lea aku tengah merajuk dengan fgk-s, roha tengah meroyan buat assignment and nurlin kesengkekkan duduk diam-diam dengan sam over the weekend.

when we came to the parking lot, i was ranting about why didn’t i use my LV and still using the old rocker chick bag. aku suruh huda patah balik ke rumah aku sebab aku nak ambik beg LV itu so that konon-konon aku ini gadis-gadis the hills. dan sebab huda masa itu dengan beg guccinya. dan ini nak jumpa si wanita yang akan membuat hantaran kahwin untuk huda — create a fake repo lea sikit, konon-konon anak dato’ mana ke, mesti lady ni ramai clientele (-_-”).

naik ke lobby, we were both oogling at borneo pearls. huda was making calls to the lady hantaran kahwin — LHK — tapi dia buat panggilan tu sejauuuh-jauuuhnya dari aku. kalau boleh nak sorok bawah tangga lobi tu terus. aku ingatkan LHK tu tunggu kitorang dengan sampel-sampel dia kat lobi, tapi huda kata nak kena naik ke bilik. weird… ntah-ntah mak ayam nak cari anak ayam baru ke, kan?

huda terus-terus nak naik lif, tapi nak tunjuk aku ni selalu duduk hotel konon-konon — private partiesss, okay, aku kan gadis-gadis the hills (-_-”) — aku mentioned kat huda kena ade access card. huda pun terbantut nak naik lif, suruh aku tunggu jangan bergerak and dia pegi concierge. lepas tu dia datang balik and said LHK dah cakap kat staffs yang kitorang nak datang, suruh naik je tingkat 4 terus.

sampai tingkat 4, cari room 402. bilik corner rupanya… hmmm. nak pulak huda terus bukak pintu and bilik tu gelap. i was a bit delayed reaction although kalau nak ikut logik aku patut lari ke tangga sebab memang betul lea ni bilik mak ayam omigod mummy said don’t talk to strangers!!! tapi lepas tu aku tengok cordee in the room — am i having visions? — lepas tu start nyanyi happy birthday then aku nampak anysz pegang kek and ade roha tengah senyum lebar pegang kamera and omigod, apakah… and ohhh myyy goddddd nurlin pun ade whatthefuckkk!!! and then baru aku nampak the whole picture of aneeza and nani in the room and omigoshhh alllll my bridesmaids!!!

+ + +

“i have the spreadsheet that i prepared to execute your surprise party…” — anysz

aku tak tau nak wish ape, not even ebizo ichikawa xi came to mind, i was more into vince’s birthday wish in entourage episode 35 — i wish that we will all have a great year! — macam lea birthday aku atas yacht like his’ or lauren conrad’s but i really felt sooo glamorous at the time, the gals made me feel omigod i’m the superstar and yeahhh aku memang sangat superficial right now because i’m just still too euphoric.

they told anysz to get off the rose-petals path they made for me to walk through from the door. i blew the candles and hugged and kissed each and everyone as roha goes snapsnapsnap with her ixus. oh ya, cordee buat stripdance at the end of the rose-petals path for moi. and there was that huge ribbonized charles & keith paper bag on the bed with more rose petals all over the white sheets. there was this tallll vase of roses on the table and two mini bouquets — the works of roha and nurlin. balloons were absolutely everywhere on the floor.

we had the cake and anysz said she’s never going to recommends la manila again because she keeps ordering the same cake — kek yang aku suka pulak tu! (anysz) — and they had tapau nasi ayam also.

+ + +

“i am the element of surprise.” — nurlin

as we were having cakes and nasi ayam, i was meroyan-royan with the cm-s for pulling this off at the same time melayan aku mengadu about last tuesday. especially nurlin. she was with me the whole week.
“diorang suruh aku pick up kau, but then aku cakap, aku elemen surprise suessy, aku tak boleh pick up dia,” said nurlin haughtily.
moi: and i thought kau duduk diam-diam dengan sam kat umah over the weekend sebab tengah sengkek.
“ye lea, sengkek untuk birthday kau ni, tauuu!”

omigod they are the real fuckeristas… i was truly fucked up with this surprise.

what did you wish?
moi: i have always wished that all my bridesmaids are together doing something that we all can enjoy. i am sooo happy right now, i am so glad that each of you are here. i’m too happy! this is what i have sooo always wanted!
“awww…” said nani.

“we called your mum,” aneeza said.
moi: my mum?
“yup, we told her that we’re doing your birthday and that in case you would need to go back to bersiap or ambik anything, you have free passes to go in and out of the house at any time you want.”
moi: bila you call dia?
“semalam.”
moi: she knowwwsss?!!! she. knows. about. this?
patut lea mum said yes ever so smoothly on friday night when i told her huda nak datang ambik to go wedding stuffs shopping.

then they said mau pegi dinner sambil sesama sendiri sedang berebut nasi ayam. dinnerrrrr? habis ni tengah makan ni, ape? “lepas dinner, kita pegi clubbing. you just have to bersiap je, suessy. tonight, it is alll about youuu. okay, girls, 6.30 we’re out for dinner. 8.30 balik sini and by ten kita mesti dah chow to changkat.”

ohhh. myyy. goddd ~ \(^o^)/

+ + +

“ini memang bukan birthday yang economical.” — roha

all the while i am raking inside my head about the money they have spent.

“pegi lea tengok beg tu, suessy!” coaxed cordee. then dia kena sound dengan aneeza, “biar lea suessy discover sendiri, cord…” ohhh okay, aku dah terus lompat atas katil macam a cat pouncing on its prey and omigod i got my own charles & keith, baby! a brand new birkin, i feel sooo heidi montag right now, yes, aku adalah gadis-gadis the hills!

and then roha bagi kotak kasut nose. whattt? apakah… ape lagi ini, like, omigod!!!
“i fikir about you going clubbing and this is the perfect shoes for it…” wahhhhhhhhhhh rohaaaaa ape ai nak buat bila yu pegi dubaiiiii lepas niiiii ~ T_T
dikuatkan dengan faktor ini, four out of eight of us pakai kasut baru pada malam itu.

“suessy, pasta zanmai ade wi-fi?”
moi: yes.
omigoddd we’re going to pasta zanmai… they totally rememberrrrsssss ~ mari menangis lagi T_T

as we got into the lift, the girls said that the whole budget is worth three years’ birthday of mine so have all the fun while it lasts.
moi: you guysss… this must have been astronomical! omigod… i cannot imagine… aku tak nak tanya, i can just guess all the dimes that goes in for this.
“memang betul lea tu astronomical, ini bukan birthday yang economical!”
moi: i want to know everything! who calls who, how did it all started, sape planning —
“takde, takde, takde… we’re not telling. tapi anysz rounded us all up. untuk birthday kau ni, semua orang terpaksa bangun pagi-pagi… nak beli bunga… nak tiup belon… nak beli kek…” said huda dengan penuh keluhan.

+ + +

“i love shishamo!” — nani

so we were at pasta zanmai for dinner and there was already a heads up that nani wanted to shoe-shopped afterwards for her purple dress. i’m good and just too happy. i got all my bridesmaids, i’m just too freaking happy already.

“okay, suessy, you can order anything you want,” said nani. “aneeza?”
aneeza looked at me and said, “as long as it’s under rm5.” she said, spreading all her five fingers opened.

turns out elyas, sala and muizz will joined us later at changkat.
moi: permission to hug your boyfriendsss!
~ i’m just too grateful.
“tak boleh!” said anysz. ah, farizz was away anyways.

as we scanned the menu and decide what to order, nani was happy pointing out the shishamo.
“eee… macam mana rasa dia tu?” aneeza asked.
i read the menu and shishamo is grilled smelts.
“sedappp, syok gila makan shishamo ni.”
moi: what is it actually nani?
“shishamo is pregnant fish… they grilled it… sedappp. bila aku dengan izary bosan we will go to tropicana city mall and makan shishamo murah kat sana… 3ringgit for four.”
truly. dipped it in the soy sauced wasabi and pow! a total burst of flavour in your mouth. and you could hear those crackles of the smelts’ eggs inside your mouth.

lepas itu kami ke vincci, opera, blay, jusco… and not only nani but nurlin and huda also bought new shoes.
“8.45 dah ni, let’s gooo, let’s gooo!” anysz rounded us all to follow the schedule.

+ + +

“2.45 mission, suessy!” — cordee

nani challenged cordee and moi to kiss someone by 2.45 at the club.

moi: kiss who?
“anyone. random.”
moi: okay, like who?
“random, suessy, random. not with who, not what time, not at where. it’s random,” said aneeza.
moi: i’m a too damn good kisserrr to waste it on some random dude.
“try je lea, suessy, just once. 2.45, okay? cordee, okay… you pun. by 2.45. grab and just kiss someone.”
“oh-kay! set! suessy, kau pun, ‘kay? okay?” cordee asked moi.

pharhunt: ye ke kau tak cium sape-sape malam tu ~
moi: yeee pharhunt, bibir ini tidak menyentuh bibir-bibir sesiapa lagi… masih seallled.

oh ya, walaupun konsert beyoncè cancelled, i had two beyoncès attending my party dan mereka bakal berentap di kelab nanti.

+ + +

sweet dreams are made of these

elyas and sala arrived at the hotel picking us the dancing princesses. huda already left earlier to fill up the tank. anysz, cordee bundled up in aneeza’s ride along with elyas as the driver. i was waiting with roha and nurlin for huda but then, seeing sala and nani alone in one car, i decided to joined them. huda and muizz later arrived — i almost forgot about muizz coming, so roha and nurlin would be just comfortable with them in one car.

sala greeted moi and immediately commented, “ini baju yang hari tu, yea?” and ever so gentlemanly, he asked how am i feeling and i was profusely confessing to him i felt sooo bad of what i wrote in my blog earlier and what they have showered me so far was beyond amazing!

arrived changkat and gatdemm we were wayyy early, people are still having dinner, haha! snapsnapsnap pix this and that, joined by them the usually heard of ayang and aeyo and the rest of the clan. by then, let’s ge-e-e-ttt the party started!

bessssttt gileee menari dowh. i don’t know whether it’s a week or month worth of exercising but there i go from 11pm til 3am — just dance. totally. cheers and shouts for the birthday girl, lompat-lompat, layan sweet dreams, funk soul brother, cookie jar, creep, heartbreaker and so many more tapi bila sean kingston aku lepak luar. no wayyy man, not my song!

tukar-tukar kasut. wore the birthday shoes, then tukar pakai roha’s 4-inch nine west — giddygiddy mengada-ngada menari-nari kekadang nak terbalik ke belakang tak boleh nak stable kan diri yang became the start of something with one of the guys yang always got my back ever since suka hati aku pijak kasut dia sebab tak nampak dia ade kat belakang syok sangat menari haha! dalam kepala asyik fikir single ke tak dia ni, single ke tak? it wasn’t a matter of yeayyy lucky strike kasut roha menemukan jodoh untukku but aku tak nakkk menari dengan boyfriend orang, eww! i think dia single kot although elyas said, “sue, bila dalam kelab semua orang single. aku dengan aneeza pun single malam ni.” whateverrr, i can do that 2.45 yeayyy boleh close deal — malam tu i was somewhat competitive with cordee.

aneeza’s brother joined us a little later and we catch up on work, life and i found someone new to talk to about teevee — he watch HIMYM, prison break, lost and apetah lagi — he was totally an engaging person. and kacak. yeshhh, i’m advertising here since he keeps asking around if any of us know anyone single. i got two references from roha and farah — oh, hello dia ni macam my brotherrr, kitorang kutip biji saga depan rumah and main tepi longkang sebelum pergi sekolah sama-sama back sixteen years ago!

both ayang and farah are gorgeous chicks and they were really sweet — “birthday girl, there’s a red carpet waiting for ya!” the boys were funnn especially ippin — he so reminds me of darling volk — kamal macam enrique inglesias kot dowhhh, aeyo macam cedric the entertainer, and biggy was the dance partner alias protègè haha i had sooo much fun with him!

the most memorable would be that song yang like an anthem for the fgk — i know you want me, you know i want cha, i know you want me-e-e, you know i want cha (lagu sape tu?) and it goes uno-dos-tres-quatro! — masa tu memang best gileee especially part kira-kira and sebut quatro mesti nak menjerit but can never top bila BEP’s i gotta feeling wouuu huuu ~ sangat. sangat. sangat. wouuu huuu lah! the deejay will silent the wou-hu part and kitorang clubbers ni yang layankan. niiice — tepuk tangan semuaaa.

anysz, nurlin, roha and cordee were singles, menari sesama sendiri and buat signs and muka- muka bila ade makhluk-makhluk asing mencelah — the girls were comical besides being naturally gorgeous. anysz and cordee is always berentap and of kross anysz takkan kalah punyaaa — bagi lagi, bagi lagi, hanj— yu! muizz sangat sporting melayan and joining us. sala macam dancing queen dowh, he’s a real darling! aneeza taught me how to grind ‘em good gils her skill sangat powerrr — kau hentammm je, suessy! OMG i was so happeee my girls totally put it in for my favourite activity. are you having fun, suessy? are you having fun? dua tiga kali each of them tanya to make sure aren’t they sooo angelixxx and each and everytime i’m answering, “toootally!”
nurlin: nampak lea kau sangat having fun — great!
aku tak boleh lupa masa tu kenapa eh, aku jauh sikit from biggy and danced with the girls then some random hand tolak aku towards him and it was sala — dengan tangan dan muka tak bersalah buat bodo and sambung menari with nani.

before with biggy i was already delirious, when he came in he was a nice addition to the picture, i had my girls, i was dancing my heart out and dancing the night away, it’s my birthdayyy, tak putus-putus sorang-sorang wishing throughout the night, the boyfriends were a total sport with their girlfriends for moi, met an old friend and had fun talking to, everyone was lovely and superfantastic, best first impressions ever — i. had. fun!

+ + +

+ + +

fighting the demons

around nak almost four a.m. lepas jerit-jerit “one morrre, one morrre!” kat deejay dengan diketuai oleh kamal, kami semua harus pulang. sementara tunggu aneeza ber-PR dengan manager werner’s, ntah random dudes sapesape ni dengan kamera ambik gambar dengan anysz, dengan cordee, dengan aku. sorang satu keeping, tukar-tukar pasangan. ntah lea sesat ke mana-mana gambar tu dibogelkan ke ape atau published kat gadiscomel.com kategori dentally challenged (moi).

nani and sala dah balik dulu sebab sala kebulur and he’s driving up to melaka for a meeting. roha, nurlin, huda and muizz bundled up balik shah alam. moi, cordee, anysz, aneeza and elyas bundled up balik hotel. at first elyas is driving but then tukar to cordee.

so that exit to our hotel, cordee was going somewhat fast. dalam terowong tu, at four am in the morning, kereta beratur macam ade tunggu traffic light. ntah lea, aku antara accurate tak accurate but i was sure i remembered seeing cars lining up macam tunggu traffic light. now when come to think of it again, what happened to those cars lepas kitorang crashed? lantak lea.

cordee driving, elyas on passenger seat. aneeza belakang elyas, anysz kat tengah, aku belakang cordee. elyas jerit, “brake!” aneeza jerit, “brake! brake, cordee, brake!” cordee jerit, “aku dah brake, brake tak makan! brake tak makan!” aku rasa macam dalam a slippery cup yang kau main kat funfair tu, cordee swerved to the left tapi lepas tu dia bawak kereta ke kanan, memang tak sempat, memang crash, aku tak brace for impact, aku tak fikir ape, tapi lepas tu kereta tu crashed the last car on the right lane and that slowed us down before sempat langgar pokok.

aneeza went hysteric, keluar kereta, meroyan. elyas kejarkan aneeza. cordee tak berhenti-henti mintak maaf, aku pujuk cordee to take it easy, and anysz terdiam sebab tulang kering dia langgar the middle compartment, i should think. anysz cakap muka dia sebelah kiri rasa kebas.

and then i started to sebak thanking HIM that we all survived, nothing major. i can’t call mum even though i feel like talking to her. i know she would masked her worrying with her doing an azubirian on the azubirian jr (moi) and lepas tu aku mesti tak boleh keluar rumah seumur hidup. there was no particular someone as in the opposite sex came to mind that i’d want to mengadu to, not even wishing for one but i do need to talk to someone — who cares and matters. so i called up the cashmere mafia-s. they have just arrived at roha’s pad and are settling down to sleep but became unsettling as they heard the news. i promised to update them now and then, and called up nani. no one get in touch with her yet, as cordee was with aneeza and elyas settling whatever with the alfa romeo’s owner and anysz was attentive to the group despite her injury. i informed nani and sala was just about to leave for melaka, dia patah balik and came to the scene. elyas’ friends from the club came over after their supper and so is aneeza’s brother.

i came out of the car and stayed away from it, as later car after car after car skidded and before i knew it one of them could have slammed into aneeza’s with me in it and i was crying hysterically by myself. cordee came to me apologizing, anysz reminded me to buck it up for aneeza since it’s her car in a wreck and aneeza’s brother consoled us. by five a.m. or so, leaving elyas, his friends and aneeza’s brother settling the scene, sala drove us girls back to the hotel.

we arrived at the lobby and i couldn’t care less walking around barefooted, my new birthday/dancing shoes are dirty what with walking around the scene in mud and we all trooped to our room. sala left immediately for melaka. i was somewhat perplexed, not having anything to grip to and was very, very unsettled in the mind. i know what happened and i know it couldn’t be avoided and we were sheer lucky that nothing’s fatal. i was afraid of not being grateful enough but how i wished i could have those melayu keparat babi paria wiped off, who i think took advantage of our condition — who, without a doubt, setup the whole scene in the first place — and simply labelled us as these melayu-melayu mabuk habis kau tu makan duit halal ke, fuckerrr?

elyas and aneeza’s brother later came over to the hotel and update us. aneeza’s brother was too damn hungry and keep complaining the hotel room is hot and i keep telling him to take off the damn jacket. we checked on each other’s injury and pain, talk about the police report tomorrow, and eat the leftover dinner, cake and dunking vanilla coke. i changed clothes, put on the bathrobe to keep warm after someone blasted the air-conditioner and fell asleep.

+ + +

“you have to returned what you say…” — aneeza

it’s almost noon and we received a guest who came back from a marathon or whatever — izary. he commented this and that, asked this and that while we were cleaning up and leaving.

we had brunch at f.a.m. and i ordered nasi goreng london, teringat volk ordered that the last time we had lunch there.

i made my speech/toast. i thanked each and everyone for making it happened, apologized to aneeza for what had happened, and apologizing to everyone for my previous blog entry. at the time i hugged elyas because aku lupa nak hug bila jumpa dia earlier sebab tak sabar-sabar nak clubbing ~

someone asked — but i couldn’t recall who — apa yang buat aku upset sangat on the actual birthday hari tu. i told them how i felt and reasoned it with that i myself was at my own weakness, not really able to create the fun out of myself and only waiting for people to do it for me. and i mentioned how izary stole the show —
moi: he was all talkative, and charming, and everyone loves him —
nani: charming? ahaha!
aneeza: nooo, suessy… you have to returned what you sayyy!
and izary buat-buat innocent and naive aku sepak kang — yes, you! you! you steal my thunder!
izary: i was — i’m so sorry if i was ru-u-u-de!
moi: and you guys semua dah siap bawak izary pegi janggut, and i tak ade pun kat janggut masa tu, i feel sooo left out! semua orang, semua orang masa tu kenal izary, layan izary and he was such an entertainer and charming and ewww, aku rasa sangat sedihhh!
izary: we were there at janggut to discuss about your birthday. i was there and i was wondering, who is this suessy they are talking about… i have not met her yet…

moi: discuss my birthdayyy ~ OMG

izary: yeahhh… and, oh, i was there when they bought you the bag. i followed!
oh, okayyy. suessy senyuuummm.
izary: that was a damn good wifle, anyway. at least you recognized your weakness and let your girlfriends know so that they can help you out.
moi: wifle?
nani: what i feel like expressing.

lepas tu izary asyik cakap dia italian and i said no — italian supposed to have the locklustre of jet black hair and bila dia pakai this straw hat he found in his car, dia tanya ape nationality dia — aku cakap puerto rican.

sekian.

would’ve been nice if farizz was able to join and sam too — i‘m a very busy busy busy man — and fahimi kau turun dari dubai untuk birthday akuuu. hmm, aku tak dapat bayangkan fahimi clubbing but he’d be great with cameras… post mortem — nak ada pro photographer tagging along documenting the prep, the event and the aftermath… would be a good photo album, no? — macam the bridal showers nurlin is having with the WANGERS, they have professional photographer tagging along, tau!

then again, was a great birthday indeed. love!

suessy promotes one of her many favourite intellectualistas

the brillianista strikes again.

i’ll go with my comment of the whole collection as in the FB —

Suessy Suraya Suhaimi | babe, gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous collection — of both the quotes and the design. not too static, hint of colour here and there but relevant enough — i can’t decide which is more, the quote or the design, i guess both are just as mindblowing as the other.

congrats, ♥ , another brilliant work excellently executed
~ m always the biggest fan of these ^-^
Thurs at 13:24

Nazirah Ashari | Suessy: Thank you. Am working on the official blog now. Need more suggestions. Drop it into my inbox. There was this one you gave me, Promises sounded very much like promiscuous. Haven’t got the heart to do it yet.
Thurs at 13:26

Suessy Suraya Suhaimi | because only promiscuous ppl make promises.
they never keep it. so i don’t believe in promises.
it sounds promiscuous to me.

promiscuous ppl — the politicians, the playboys and alike. they never really have us in them.
Thurs at 22:34

if you have your favourite line, tagline or quote, drop it here in the comment section and i’ll relay it to her. it’s fun to be part of it!

nazirah ashari is an aspiring individual who’s a die hard fan of rilo kiley (and more, you can count and argue with her when it comes to music) and dying to meet her contender of the four-shots espresso challenge. she blogs at L I P S T I K R O N A N O D A and lipstikronanoda // THE WRITE SERIES apart from studying, a barista part-timer and a dreamer like moi.

suessy and ebizo are happily parenting gueci — something her new friend thinks that suessy’s being way too freaky about

esok saya akan melihat my first press conference materialize. hidup matiku untuk JL tapi lepas tu JL bagitau dia sendiri pun tak akan materialize di press conference itu — terima kasih jayyy elll -_-”

bila orang lain yang sibuk nak prepare for press conference, aku sangat composed dan cool, sangat chill dan collected, boleh meng-network-kan orang and bagi solutions. time aku, gelabah bagai nak rak, sexual tensions on top of it, and as always, i take the easy way out — makan tak menentu, nescafe 24/7, main taboo macam main kuda. i’m having too much fun i couldn’t care less.

“nasib baik kau pakai macam ni, suraya. seksi. tarik ke bawah sikit… takpelah… kasik bos tengok.”
palehotsss.

sekian tentang kerja.

+ + +

gueci sudah pulang and i’m just too overwhelmed. letih kerja ya amat tapi bila tau balik nanti boleh tengok gueci rasa uplifting terus. hmm, macam ni kot perasaannya bila ade anak. gueci pun identify ebizo sebagai daddynya. moeli berlagak seperti anak remaja, bitchy sepanjang masa.

oh, well, my biological clock can cope with this for the moment.

+ + +

izary yang sentiasa attention seeker itu boleh aja nak jakun tengok gamba ebizo sebagai wallpaper layla.

izary: is this your boyfriend?
moi: hmmm…
izary: what does he do? is he a model?
moi: no… he does… endorsement…
nani and sala: heyyy, congratulation! you dah ade boyfriend! omigod, suessy! i knew it would happened! sape? sape?

lepas tu izary ade hati nak jadi ari gold kat aku bila cordee dah tak nak layan dia. lebih palat bila si farizz pun vouched for him, “because we’re GUYS, suessy!”

izary: you’re so freaky! patut lea boyfriend you japanese!
moi: not freaky — kinky.

+ + +

syok gak main taboo. i get to see farizz who missed my birthday but then lost him to izary — bastards…

anysz memang gila bab meneka. bila nani dapat perkataan gutter, dan nani menggunakan perkataan longkang sebagai pembayang, anysz terus jawab dengan confident dan excited dan perfectpitchingsuaranya — CLEAVAGE!

lepas tu — for moi — nani kelakar nak mampos bila bagi pembayang untuk winston churchill. aku teka benjamin franklin, theodore roosevelt, john adams and george washington. in desperation mengejar masa lepas aku teka semua nama, nani wailed, ” i don’t knowww, he’s one of their friendsss, i should think!”

haha — he‘s one of their friends …

nani: okay, okay, the opposite of losing is —
moi: win!
nani: that’s the beginning of his name!
moi: winston churchill!
nani: yes! next (card)!
farizz: winston churchill is a british lea, nani… not an american.

to which nani sulked… haha, yeah, nani got that part wrong, which is why aku terusss je rattled all american names that i know.

aneeza: suessy lebih tau benda-benda macam ni.
cordee: aku boleh visualize kemenangan bila ade suessy dalam team.

kalah teruk masa tu, lelaki menang against perempuan 18 mata kepada 13 mata. anysz percaya pada feng shui dan menyuruh kitorang bertukar tempat — at first duduk selang-seli lelaki/perempuan sebab nak jaga time dan cards. analisis anysz turned out to be true, di mana selapas kami perempuan berselonggok dan lelaki selonggok, kemenangan diraih hingga 19 mata kepada 7 mata (lelaki).

tapi aku failed dalam maths. aku benci bila izary betul.

dan time tu aku betul-betul praktis flirting on izary. haha.

+ + +

aneeza sangat menyuruh aku tontoni the ugly truth. so i did. lepas download hampir lima belas minggu — don’t ask.

see, perempuan boleh mampu menyukai lelaki itu seadanya walaupun lelaki itu menyukai perempuan itu sepura-puraannya.
see, lelaki tetap terasa challenged and competitive bila lelaki lain dapat the girl yang pada mulanya dia tak nak.
see, perempuan akhirnya come to her senses that she didn’t exactly like the man she is with hundred percent because there’s no love there but she stayed in the relationship anyway for the sake of having a relationship.
see, lelaki sebenarnya pengecut dan penakut when it comes to deciding and verbalizing it, walaupun personalitinya selama ini looked like mereka boleh hidup selagi there’s a girlhole to fuck.
see, perempuan tidak perlu beria sangat nak play the game and follow the rule sebab akhirnya mereka berpura-pura for the sake untuk menawan hati lelaki itu dan pity the girl akan terus hidup dalam kepalsuan unless she eventually make a choice for her own sake.
and see, eventually, lelaki will never know when we faked an orgasm.

haha.

anyways, aku spontaneously burst into (happy) tears at the climax of the movie.
rasa sangat lega that i just have to be myself. letih sebenarnya nak go by the book. persetankan aja.
dan yeahhh, i identified myself as katherine heigl’s character in that movie. haihhh, i believe it was a journey worth taken.

+ + +

pastu, i was browsing through nana mj’s fb and bumped into one of her besties’ wedding album. koleksi gambar-gambar yang sangat fun — that’s what they call candid. and i like the bestie’s fb current profile pix which is one of the wedding photos — sangat komik. i should think selain mempunyai husband yang quirky like that, photographer juga harus memainkan peranan for such an amusing collection. siapa photographer itu, mungkin aku bisa jatuh cinta sama kamu. sekali a femme photographer —

adoyaiii, dah lea aku dengan farsha sekarang pun almost lesbian -_-”
farsha (sangkut dalam traffic jam selepas waktu pejabat, circa 8pm): babe, kau dah mandi?
moi: boleh tak kau jangan tanya aku soalan separa lesbian ni? buat ape kau nak tau?!

— sekarang berbalik kepada bestie nana mj. hm, aku sangat suka sampai aku nak this thought immortalized in my blog. sila lihat gambar di bawah ini. betapa relevantnya seorang lelaki yang punyai sense of humour komikal untuk menceriakan hidup ini.

if you want to be happy, nobody’s going to stop you

i came to pick up this korean drama three brothers on channel 303. the brother who is the police officer came across this girl who was dumped by her boyfriend of five years — the one she took care of while he’s studying to become a public prosecutor. she bought him everything that he needed — clothes, food, a brand new celly. he dumped her when he finished his studies and became the government servant.

i easily relate myself to her, of course. when she called him after they broke up, crying her heart out telling that she’s missing him. time tu lea tak berhenti-henti hati kau menjerit panggilkan boyfriend lama kau — bius paling mujarab tapi mati cepat. i watched as the girl made the phone calls, menangis tak berhenti, panggilkan the asshole of a boyfriend — masa ni memang tak ade orang lain yang kau nakkan kecuali si keparat itu. even then bila dia kembali layankan kau pun kamu masih tak berapa happy sebenarnya. dirundung kerisauan teramat sebab dia bukan yang dulu lagi — hmm, mana pergi dia yang dulu tu kan?

perempuan tu kena cemuh terlalu obsess, terlampau sensitif. asyik-asyik nak ugut break up sampai boyfriend dia pun naik turn off. hmm… okay.

tiap kali the police officer brother bumped into this girl mesti the girl tu tengah meroyan rayukan boyfriend lama dia sampai her cookie terjatuh. cookie as in the breast padding, the girl’s (desperate) breast illusion (padding) — according to the makcik gerai mi tempat the girl broke up dengan boyfriend dia (the girl suruh the boyfriend tanggal every piece of cloth that she bought for him which he was wearing at the time) — maka the police officer brother ni tukang kutip cookie pompuan tu each time pompuan tu dah almost tak bernafas menangis mabuk tak hengat ape kecuali being desperate wanting to go back to those times she was happy — with the asshole.

girl: mr. officer, does it hurt being hit by a bullet?
police officer bro: — — —
girl: i’m sure it hurts. can you help me erase my memory? i’m sure i will be happy again when all my memory is erased. i don’t want to remember anything ~

hm, i’m depressed again. tapi suara dalam diri hentak-hentak kata, “i. am. not. depressed! i don’t want to go back there! i. AM. NOT. depressed!” aku masih pandang belakang, tapi aku tak mahu berada dalam keadaan emosi begitu. sangat turbulence, dowh. i’ve had enough. i want to be happy — walaupun sakit like being hit by a bullet.