super outdated — original draft dated Oct-26 @ 23:01 — because it’s one tough documentation or i am just too darn lazy these days i only care about partying and gueci

anysz: kau tau tak suessy, all these birthdays ni… we first started it with yours last year!

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“i need your help…” — huda

huda picked me up around 5pm. she said we are first to make a stop at E to meet this lady yang buat hantaran kahwin. i was a bit tersedih sekejap thinking of the rad times i had there last year for cordee’s birthday. takpelah, let’s ago-go-go.

during the drive huda beria cerita dan bertanya pendapat pasal pilihan rona warna untuk hantaran kahwin. at first it was wayyy weird huda kata dia takde idea, takde masa, takde nak menyempat nak buat research hatta google sekali pun, maka dia memerlukan pendapat aku. nak ikutkan nak je aku tanya ulang-ulang, “betul keee kau takde idea, babe?” tapi nanti karang huda sound, “tak nak tolong, sudah lea!” mati aku. dah lea aku tengah merajuk dengan fgk-s, roha tengah meroyan buat assignment and nurlin kesengkekkan duduk diam-diam dengan sam over the weekend.

when we came to the parking lot, i was ranting about why didn’t i use my LV and still using the old rocker chick bag. aku suruh huda patah balik ke rumah aku sebab aku nak ambik beg LV itu so that konon-konon aku ini gadis-gadis the hills. dan sebab huda masa itu dengan beg guccinya. dan ini nak jumpa si wanita yang akan membuat hantaran kahwin untuk huda — create a fake repo lea sikit, konon-konon anak dato’ mana ke, mesti lady ni ramai clientele (-_-”).

naik ke lobby, we were both oogling at borneo pearls. huda was making calls to the lady hantaran kahwin — LHK — tapi dia buat panggilan tu sejauuuh-jauuuhnya dari aku. kalau boleh nak sorok bawah tangga lobi tu terus. aku ingatkan LHK tu tunggu kitorang dengan sampel-sampel dia kat lobi, tapi huda kata nak kena naik ke bilik. weird… ntah-ntah mak ayam nak cari anak ayam baru ke, kan?

huda terus-terus nak naik lif, tapi nak tunjuk aku ni selalu duduk hotel konon-konon — private partiesss, okay, aku kan gadis-gadis the hills (-_-”) — aku mentioned kat huda kena ade access card. huda pun terbantut nak naik lif, suruh aku tunggu jangan bergerak and dia pegi concierge. lepas tu dia datang balik and said LHK dah cakap kat staffs yang kitorang nak datang, suruh naik je tingkat 4 terus.

sampai tingkat 4, cari room 402. bilik corner rupanya… hmmm. nak pulak huda terus bukak pintu and bilik tu gelap. i was a bit delayed reaction although kalau nak ikut logik aku patut lari ke tangga sebab memang betul lea ni bilik mak ayam omigod mummy said don’t talk to strangers!!! tapi lepas tu aku tengok cordee in the room — am i having visions? — lepas tu start nyanyi happy birthday then aku nampak anysz pegang kek and ade roha tengah senyum lebar pegang kamera and omigod, apakah… and ohhh myyy goddddd nurlin pun ade whatthefuckkk!!! and then baru aku nampak the whole picture of aneeza and nani in the room and omigoshhh alllll my bridesmaids!!!

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“i have the spreadsheet that i prepared to execute your surprise party…” — anysz

aku tak tau nak wish ape, not even ebizo ichikawa xi came to mind, i was more into vince’s birthday wish in entourage episode 35 — i wish that we will all have a great year! — macam lea birthday aku atas yacht like his’ or lauren conrad’s but i really felt sooo glamorous at the time, the gals made me feel omigod i’m the superstar and yeahhh aku memang sangat superficial right now because i’m just still too euphoric.

they told anysz to get off the rose-petals path they made for me to walk through from the door. i blew the candles and hugged and kissed each and everyone as roha goes snapsnapsnap with her ixus. oh ya, cordee buat stripdance at the end of the rose-petals path for moi. and there was that huge ribbonized charles & keith paper bag on the bed with more rose petals all over the white sheets. there was this tallll vase of roses on the table and two mini bouquets — the works of roha and nurlin. balloons were absolutely everywhere on the floor.

we had the cake and anysz said she’s never going to recommends la manila again because she keeps ordering the same cake — kek yang aku suka pulak tu! (anysz) — and they had tapau nasi ayam also.

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“i am the element of surprise.” — nurlin

as we were having cakes and nasi ayam, i was meroyan-royan with the cm-s for pulling this off at the same time melayan aku mengadu about last tuesday. especially nurlin. she was with me the whole week.
“diorang suruh aku pick up kau, but then aku cakap, aku elemen surprise suessy, aku tak boleh pick up dia,” said nurlin haughtily.
moi: and i thought kau duduk diam-diam dengan sam kat umah over the weekend sebab tengah sengkek.
“ye lea, sengkek untuk birthday kau ni, tauuu!”

omigod they are the real fuckeristas… i was truly fucked up with this surprise.

what did you wish?
moi: i have always wished that all my bridesmaids are together doing something that we all can enjoy. i am sooo happy right now, i am so glad that each of you are here. i’m too happy! this is what i have sooo always wanted!
“awww…” said nani.

“we called your mum,” aneeza said.
moi: my mum?
“yup, we told her that we’re doing your birthday and that in case you would need to go back to bersiap or ambik anything, you have free passes to go in and out of the house at any time you want.”
moi: bila you call dia?
“semalam.”
moi: she knowwwsss?!!! she. knows. about. this?
patut lea mum said yes ever so smoothly on friday night when i told her huda nak datang ambik to go wedding stuffs shopping.

then they said mau pegi dinner sambil sesama sendiri sedang berebut nasi ayam. dinnerrrrr? habis ni tengah makan ni, ape? “lepas dinner, kita pegi clubbing. you just have to bersiap je, suessy. tonight, it is alll about youuu. okay, girls, 6.30 we’re out for dinner. 8.30 balik sini and by ten kita mesti dah chow to changkat.”

ohhh. myyy. goddd ~ \(^o^)/

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“ini memang bukan birthday yang economical.” — roha

all the while i am raking inside my head about the money they have spent.

“pegi lea tengok beg tu, suessy!” coaxed cordee. then dia kena sound dengan aneeza, “biar lea suessy discover sendiri, cord…” ohhh okay, aku dah terus lompat atas katil macam a cat pouncing on its prey and omigod i got my own charles & keith, baby! a brand new birkin, i feel sooo heidi montag right now, yes, aku adalah gadis-gadis the hills!

and then roha bagi kotak kasut nose. whattt? apakah… ape lagi ini, like, omigod!!!
“i fikir about you going clubbing and this is the perfect shoes for it…” wahhhhhhhhhhh rohaaaaa ape ai nak buat bila yu pegi dubaiiiii lepas niiiii ~ T_T
dikuatkan dengan faktor ini, four out of eight of us pakai kasut baru pada malam itu.

“suessy, pasta zanmai ade wi-fi?”
moi: yes.
omigoddd we’re going to pasta zanmai… they totally rememberrrrsssss ~ mari menangis lagi T_T

as we got into the lift, the girls said that the whole budget is worth three years’ birthday of mine so have all the fun while it lasts.
moi: you guysss… this must have been astronomical! omigod… i cannot imagine… aku tak nak tanya, i can just guess all the dimes that goes in for this.
“memang betul lea tu astronomical, ini bukan birthday yang economical!”
moi: i want to know everything! who calls who, how did it all started, sape planning —
“takde, takde, takde… we’re not telling. tapi anysz rounded us all up. untuk birthday kau ni, semua orang terpaksa bangun pagi-pagi… nak beli bunga… nak tiup belon… nak beli kek…” said huda dengan penuh keluhan.

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“i love shishamo!” — nani

so we were at pasta zanmai for dinner and there was already a heads up that nani wanted to shoe-shopped afterwards for her purple dress. i’m good and just too happy. i got all my bridesmaids, i’m just too freaking happy already.

“okay, suessy, you can order anything you want,” said nani. “aneeza?”
aneeza looked at me and said, “as long as it’s under rm5.” she said, spreading all her five fingers opened.

turns out elyas, sala and muizz will joined us later at changkat.
moi: permission to hug your boyfriendsss!
~ i’m just too grateful.
“tak boleh!” said anysz. ah, farizz was away anyways.

as we scanned the menu and decide what to order, nani was happy pointing out the shishamo.
“eee… macam mana rasa dia tu?” aneeza asked.
i read the menu and shishamo is grilled smelts.
“sedappp, syok gila makan shishamo ni.”
moi: what is it actually nani?
“shishamo is pregnant fish… they grilled it… sedappp. bila aku dengan izary bosan we will go to tropicana city mall and makan shishamo murah kat sana… 3ringgit for four.”
truly. dipped it in the soy sauced wasabi and pow! a total burst of flavour in your mouth. and you could hear those crackles of the smelts’ eggs inside your mouth.

lepas itu kami ke vincci, opera, blay, jusco… and not only nani but nurlin and huda also bought new shoes.
“8.45 dah ni, let’s gooo, let’s gooo!” anysz rounded us all to follow the schedule.

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“2.45 mission, suessy!” — cordee

nani challenged cordee and moi to kiss someone by 2.45 at the club.

moi: kiss who?
“anyone. random.”
moi: okay, like who?
“random, suessy, random. not with who, not what time, not at where. it’s random,” said aneeza.
moi: i’m a too damn good kisserrr to waste it on some random dude.
“try je lea, suessy, just once. 2.45, okay? cordee, okay… you pun. by 2.45. grab and just kiss someone.”
“oh-kay! set! suessy, kau pun, ‘kay? okay?” cordee asked moi.

pharhunt: ye ke kau tak cium sape-sape malam tu ~
moi: yeee pharhunt, bibir ini tidak menyentuh bibir-bibir sesiapa lagi… masih seallled.

oh ya, walaupun konsert beyoncè cancelled, i had two beyoncès attending my party dan mereka bakal berentap di kelab nanti.

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sweet dreams are made of these

elyas and sala arrived at the hotel picking us the dancing princesses. huda already left earlier to fill up the tank. anysz, cordee bundled up in aneeza’s ride along with elyas as the driver. i was waiting with roha and nurlin for huda but then, seeing sala and nani alone in one car, i decided to joined them. huda and muizz later arrived — i almost forgot about muizz coming, so roha and nurlin would be just comfortable with them in one car.

sala greeted moi and immediately commented, “ini baju yang hari tu, yea?” and ever so gentlemanly, he asked how am i feeling and i was profusely confessing to him i felt sooo bad of what i wrote in my blog earlier and what they have showered me so far was beyond amazing!

arrived changkat and gatdemm we were wayyy early, people are still having dinner, haha! snapsnapsnap pix this and that, joined by them the usually heard of ayang and aeyo and the rest of the clan. by then, let’s ge-e-e-ttt the party started!

bessssttt gileee menari dowh. i don’t know whether it’s a week or month worth of exercising but there i go from 11pm til 3am — just dance. totally. cheers and shouts for the birthday girl, lompat-lompat, layan sweet dreams, funk soul brother, cookie jar, creep, heartbreaker and so many more tapi bila sean kingston aku lepak luar. no wayyy man, not my song!

tukar-tukar kasut. wore the birthday shoes, then tukar pakai roha’s 4-inch nine west — giddygiddy mengada-ngada menari-nari kekadang nak terbalik ke belakang tak boleh nak stable kan diri yang became the start of something with one of the guys yang always got my back ever since suka hati aku pijak kasut dia sebab tak nampak dia ade kat belakang syok sangat menari haha! dalam kepala asyik fikir single ke tak dia ni, single ke tak? it wasn’t a matter of yeayyy lucky strike kasut roha menemukan jodoh untukku but aku tak nakkk menari dengan boyfriend orang, eww! i think dia single kot although elyas said, “sue, bila dalam kelab semua orang single. aku dengan aneeza pun single malam ni.” whateverrr, i can do that 2.45 yeayyy boleh close deal — malam tu i was somewhat competitive with cordee.

aneeza’s brother joined us a little later and we catch up on work, life and i found someone new to talk to about teevee — he watch HIMYM, prison break, lost and apetah lagi — he was totally an engaging person. and kacak. yeshhh, i’m advertising here since he keeps asking around if any of us know anyone single. i got two references from roha and farah — oh, hello dia ni macam my brotherrr, kitorang kutip biji saga depan rumah and main tepi longkang sebelum pergi sekolah sama-sama back sixteen years ago!

both ayang and farah are gorgeous chicks and they were really sweet — “birthday girl, there’s a red carpet waiting for ya!” the boys were funnn especially ippin — he so reminds me of darling volk — kamal macam enrique inglesias kot dowhhh, aeyo macam cedric the entertainer, and biggy was the dance partner alias protègè haha i had sooo much fun with him!

the most memorable would be that song yang like an anthem for the fgk — i know you want me, you know i want cha, i know you want me-e-e, you know i want cha (lagu sape tu?) and it goes uno-dos-tres-quatro! — masa tu memang best gileee especially part kira-kira and sebut quatro mesti nak menjerit but can never top bila BEP’s i gotta feeling wouuu huuu ~ sangat. sangat. sangat. wouuu huuu lah! the deejay will silent the wou-hu part and kitorang clubbers ni yang layankan. niiice — tepuk tangan semuaaa.

anysz, nurlin, roha and cordee were singles, menari sesama sendiri and buat signs and muka- muka bila ade makhluk-makhluk asing mencelah — the girls were comical besides being naturally gorgeous. anysz and cordee is always berentap and of kross anysz takkan kalah punyaaa — bagi lagi, bagi lagi, hanj— yu! muizz sangat sporting melayan and joining us. sala macam dancing queen dowh, he’s a real darling! aneeza taught me how to grind ‘em good gils her skill sangat powerrr — kau hentammm je, suessy! OMG i was so happeee my girls totally put it in for my favourite activity. are you having fun, suessy? are you having fun? dua tiga kali each of them tanya to make sure aren’t they sooo angelixxx and each and everytime i’m answering, “toootally!”
nurlin: nampak lea kau sangat having fun — great!
aku tak boleh lupa masa tu kenapa eh, aku jauh sikit from biggy and danced with the girls then some random hand tolak aku towards him and it was sala — dengan tangan dan muka tak bersalah buat bodo and sambung menari with nani.

before with biggy i was already delirious, when he came in he was a nice addition to the picture, i had my girls, i was dancing my heart out and dancing the night away, it’s my birthdayyy, tak putus-putus sorang-sorang wishing throughout the night, the boyfriends were a total sport with their girlfriends for moi, met an old friend and had fun talking to, everyone was lovely and superfantastic, best first impressions ever — i. had. fun!

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+ + +

fighting the demons

around nak almost four a.m. lepas jerit-jerit “one morrre, one morrre!” kat deejay dengan diketuai oleh kamal, kami semua harus pulang. sementara tunggu aneeza ber-PR dengan manager werner’s, ntah random dudes sapesape ni dengan kamera ambik gambar dengan anysz, dengan cordee, dengan aku. sorang satu keeping, tukar-tukar pasangan. ntah lea sesat ke mana-mana gambar tu dibogelkan ke ape atau published kat gadiscomel.com kategori dentally challenged (moi).

nani and sala dah balik dulu sebab sala kebulur and he’s driving up to melaka for a meeting. roha, nurlin, huda and muizz bundled up balik shah alam. moi, cordee, anysz, aneeza and elyas bundled up balik hotel. at first elyas is driving but then tukar to cordee.

so that exit to our hotel, cordee was going somewhat fast. dalam terowong tu, at four am in the morning, kereta beratur macam ade tunggu traffic light. ntah lea, aku antara accurate tak accurate but i was sure i remembered seeing cars lining up macam tunggu traffic light. now when come to think of it again, what happened to those cars lepas kitorang crashed? lantak lea.

cordee driving, elyas on passenger seat. aneeza belakang elyas, anysz kat tengah, aku belakang cordee. elyas jerit, “brake!” aneeza jerit, “brake! brake, cordee, brake!” cordee jerit, “aku dah brake, brake tak makan! brake tak makan!” aku rasa macam dalam a slippery cup yang kau main kat funfair tu, cordee swerved to the left tapi lepas tu dia bawak kereta ke kanan, memang tak sempat, memang crash, aku tak brace for impact, aku tak fikir ape, tapi lepas tu kereta tu crashed the last car on the right lane and that slowed us down before sempat langgar pokok.

aneeza went hysteric, keluar kereta, meroyan. elyas kejarkan aneeza. cordee tak berhenti-henti mintak maaf, aku pujuk cordee to take it easy, and anysz terdiam sebab tulang kering dia langgar the middle compartment, i should think. anysz cakap muka dia sebelah kiri rasa kebas.

and then i started to sebak thanking HIM that we all survived, nothing major. i can’t call mum even though i feel like talking to her. i know she would masked her worrying with her doing an azubirian on the azubirian jr (moi) and lepas tu aku mesti tak boleh keluar rumah seumur hidup. there was no particular someone as in the opposite sex came to mind that i’d want to mengadu to, not even wishing for one but i do need to talk to someone — who cares and matters. so i called up the cashmere mafia-s. they have just arrived at roha’s pad and are settling down to sleep but became unsettling as they heard the news. i promised to update them now and then, and called up nani. no one get in touch with her yet, as cordee was with aneeza and elyas settling whatever with the alfa romeo’s owner and anysz was attentive to the group despite her injury. i informed nani and sala was just about to leave for melaka, dia patah balik and came to the scene. elyas’ friends from the club came over after their supper and so is aneeza’s brother.

i came out of the car and stayed away from it, as later car after car after car skidded and before i knew it one of them could have slammed into aneeza’s with me in it and i was crying hysterically by myself. cordee came to me apologizing, anysz reminded me to buck it up for aneeza since it’s her car in a wreck and aneeza’s brother consoled us. by five a.m. or so, leaving elyas, his friends and aneeza’s brother settling the scene, sala drove us girls back to the hotel.

we arrived at the lobby and i couldn’t care less walking around barefooted, my new birthday/dancing shoes are dirty what with walking around the scene in mud and we all trooped to our room. sala left immediately for melaka. i was somewhat perplexed, not having anything to grip to and was very, very unsettled in the mind. i know what happened and i know it couldn’t be avoided and we were sheer lucky that nothing’s fatal. i was afraid of not being grateful enough but how i wished i could have those melayu keparat babi paria wiped off, who i think took advantage of our condition — who, without a doubt, setup the whole scene in the first place — and simply labelled us as these melayu-melayu mabuk habis kau tu makan duit halal ke, fuckerrr?

elyas and aneeza’s brother later came over to the hotel and update us. aneeza’s brother was too damn hungry and keep complaining the hotel room is hot and i keep telling him to take off the damn jacket. we checked on each other’s injury and pain, talk about the police report tomorrow, and eat the leftover dinner, cake and dunking vanilla coke. i changed clothes, put on the bathrobe to keep warm after someone blasted the air-conditioner and fell asleep.

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“you have to returned what you say…” — aneeza

it’s almost noon and we received a guest who came back from a marathon or whatever — izary. he commented this and that, asked this and that while we were cleaning up and leaving.

we had brunch at f.a.m. and i ordered nasi goreng london, teringat volk ordered that the last time we had lunch there.

i made my speech/toast. i thanked each and everyone for making it happened, apologized to aneeza for what had happened, and apologizing to everyone for my previous blog entry. at the time i hugged elyas because aku lupa nak hug bila jumpa dia earlier sebab tak sabar-sabar nak clubbing ~

someone asked — but i couldn’t recall who — apa yang buat aku upset sangat on the actual birthday hari tu. i told them how i felt and reasoned it with that i myself was at my own weakness, not really able to create the fun out of myself and only waiting for people to do it for me. and i mentioned how izary stole the show —
moi: he was all talkative, and charming, and everyone loves him —
nani: charming? ahaha!
aneeza: nooo, suessy… you have to returned what you sayyy!
and izary buat-buat innocent and naive aku sepak kang — yes, you! you! you steal my thunder!
izary: i was — i’m so sorry if i was ru-u-u-de!
moi: and you guys semua dah siap bawak izary pegi janggut, and i tak ade pun kat janggut masa tu, i feel sooo left out! semua orang, semua orang masa tu kenal izary, layan izary and he was such an entertainer and charming and ewww, aku rasa sangat sedihhh!
izary: we were there at janggut to discuss about your birthday. i was there and i was wondering, who is this suessy they are talking about… i have not met her yet…

moi: discuss my birthdayyy ~ OMG

izary: yeahhh… and, oh, i was there when they bought you the bag. i followed!
oh, okayyy. suessy senyuuummm.
izary: that was a damn good wifle, anyway. at least you recognized your weakness and let your girlfriends know so that they can help you out.
moi: wifle?
nani: what i feel like expressing.

lepas tu izary asyik cakap dia italian and i said no — italian supposed to have the locklustre of jet black hair and bila dia pakai this straw hat he found in his car, dia tanya ape nationality dia — aku cakap puerto rican.

sekian.

would’ve been nice if farizz was able to join and sam too — i‘m a very busy busy busy man — and fahimi kau turun dari dubai untuk birthday akuuu. hmm, aku tak dapat bayangkan fahimi clubbing but he’d be great with cameras… post mortem — nak ada pro photographer tagging along documenting the prep, the event and the aftermath… would be a good photo album, no? — macam the bridal showers nurlin is having with the WANGERS, they have professional photographer tagging along, tau!

then again, was a great birthday indeed. love!